Here’s a bang-on bit of satire from this week’s edition of The Onion:
An excerpt from the article:
Critics of Intelligent Falling point out that gravity is a provable
law based on empirical observations of natural phenomena. Evangelical
physicists, however, insist that there is no conflict between Newton’s
mathematics and Holy Scripture.
“Closed-minded gravitists cannot find a way to make Einstein’s
general relativity match up with the subatomic quantum world,” said Dr.
Ellen Carson, a leading Intelligent Falling expert known for her work
with the Kansan Youth Ministry. “They’ve been trying to do it for the
better part of a century now, and despite all their empirical
observation and carefully compiled data, they still don’t know how.”
“Traditional scientists admit that they cannot explain how
gravitation is supposed to work,” Carson said. “What the gravity-agenda
scientists need to realize is that ‘gravity waves’ and ‘gravitons’ are
just secular words for ‘God can do whatever He wants.'”
Some evangelical physicists propose that Intelligent Falling
provides an elegant solution to the central problem of modern physics.
“Anti-falling physicists have been theorizing for decades about the
‘electromagnetic force,’ the ‘weak nuclear force,’ the ‘strong nuclear
force,’ and so-called ‘force of gravity,'” Burdett said. “And they tilt
their findings toward trying to unite them into one force. But readers
of the Bible have already known for millennia what this one, unified
force is: His name is Jesus.”