Lesson #2: The Ten Incredibly Valuable Things I learned from my good buddy George Scriban while at Crazy Go Nuts University
10. How not to behave at a women’s residence party.
9. How to apologize to an entire wing at a women’s residence the next day.
8. A number of good essay-writing techniques.
7. How to get a cube van to “take air”.
6. The fine art of telling politicos to “eat the corn from my shit”.
5. That brevity is the soul of wit.
4. That once in a while, you must do something you know you’ll regret later, because you’ll regret it more if you don’t.
3. That about half the time, the right-wing option is the correct one and the left-wing one is dead wrong, and vice versa.
2. How to think critically.
1. That in the hands of an expert, the esophagus can be one helluva projectile launcher.