If you can’t kill a dictator, kill a metaphor instead

American military training produces fine soldiers, but the euphemistic and managerial way in which they are taught to speak certainly drains all poetry from their language. The New York Times, in the article U.S. Officers Display the ‘Rat Hole’ Where Hussein Hid, quotes Colonel James B. Hickey, who led the raid that resulted in the capture of Saddam “Scruffy” Hussein:

“From a military point of view, if you lop the head off a snake, the snake’s not going to be so viable after that,” he said.

It gets the point across, but Arma virumque cano it ain’t.

Perhaps I should try some mil-speak flirting with The Redhead:

“Please rendezvous with this officer for a dinner sortie, to be followed by accordion operations, the deployment of wine and dancing maneouvres. Your pants will not be so viable after that.”

One reply on “If you can’t kill a dictator, kill a metaphor instead”

Not to mention you can threaten her with the unleashing of Weapons of Ass Destruction.

“Baby, I must have tear gas in my pants, because everytime I take them off, girls start crying.”

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