Dear Professor…

Weez, a professor at Rochester Institute of Technology, writes about an email she received from one of her students:


I was looking over my grades on my courses and was wondering what the final assessment of my performance will be. I am expecting no less than an A in your class but from the current grade distribution, it seems that I am in a low B range. Will you be able to tell me my final grade? I’m anxious to know how everything turns out so that, if necessary, I can come to you to dispute any final decisions before I leave. Thanks.

Please respond to this email.

Weez writes that she “would be happy if y’all would suggest the myriad things I could say to this student – though probably will not. Deciding this is an opportunity for group email composition, rather labor over a retort, I will happily accept potential replies.”

My suggested response: “Eat the corn from my shit.”

Feel free to use the line, Weez!

5 replies on “Dear Professor…”

haha, funny shit. that’s the basic mentality of the boys and girls of Queen’s University. Except, we aren’t stupid enough to expose the underlying truth to our profs 🙂


Dear King, even though I am a lowly peasant, I expect to be given a knightship by tomorrow. I also expect a large plot of land and servants. I am prepared to dispute any decisions that do not go according to my wishes.

… as someone teaching Con-Ed courses in Calgary for the last 8 months I get this all the time…

I’ve always managed to settle the dispute withou

I can only assume that:

a) Your Internet connection got cut off and you’ll try enetring the rest of your comment later


b) You were blackjacked by an angry A-demanding student in mid-sentence.

While the assessment you’re making (this student is a putz) is _probably_ the right one, there is an alternative angle on this: this professor’s grading scheme is non-deterministic (from a single student’s point of view). I’ve been the victim of this before and it was really hard to tell whether I should drop the class to avoid a black mark or stick it out because everything would be fine after the curve. In one case, the prof couldn’t come up with decent test questions so the range of point scores was entirely in the 90s, which was then curved so that someone with a 95 got a C (!!!).

Just an alternative viewpoint…


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