You want to ignore this post, but I know you. You can’t.
Bowel Buddy Brand Biscuits
You really have to come over to Canada now, because we lead the way in cool. Consider these:
- Legal gay marriage
- While not formally de-criminalized, marijuana’s no longer a big deal
- A drinking age of 18 or 19 (depending on the Province), instead of the Americans’ silly 21
- Better beer
- Healthcare (which is world-class, no matter what rich right-wingers who have investments in HMOs and summer in the Hamptons with doctor friends will tell you)
- A video station that actually plays music videos (okay, so they’re not playing the widest variety of them, but they are playing videos)
- A video station that will let you perform on the freaking accordion, live, in front of the entire damned country, just because you asked nicely
And now, we have this…
I would normally say “I shit you not”, but since two Bowel Buddy wafers have almost 23 grams of fibre, the more appropriate phrase would be “I shit you lots.” According to the literature, some people lose up to five pounds thanks to Bowel Buddy’s erm…ah…cleansing action.
I’ve tried them at the nearby health food store (the one on Queen Street, staffed entirely by cute women). They’re tasty.
So are the wafers (arf! arf!).
Let’s make San Francisco pretty this Christmas!
Now that we’re done with the Canadian poop-altering product, let’s look at the American one:
Hershey’s green chocolate syrup is part of a tie-in with the Incredible Hulk movie. According to Shelli, this stuff turns your poop (or at least, her toddler’s poop) green.
Now let’s consider the case of San Francisco. There’s a considerable amount of human poop — and yes, you can tell it’s human as opposed to canine without any study — on the streets.
I see a way to make sure the homeless are getting some of their nutrients and making the streets more Christmas-y at the same time, don’t you?
This is Romulan Ale, which you can buy at Star Trek: The Experience at the Las Vegas Hilton. All my bodily waste was blue for a day.