Conversation 1:
“Don’t know much about history…”

The scene: Cumberland cinemas, waiting for The Two Towers to come on. Two guys in their mid- to late twenties are talking in the row behind me.

Guy behind me number 1: I read somewhere that Peter Jackson chaged more stuff in the Two Towers than he did in Fellowship.

Guy behind me number 2: I wouldn’t know, I never read the books. I’m not really big on reading.

Guy behind me number 1: No?

Guy behind me number 2: When I come from from work, I don’t want to have to work to be entertained. I want to relax. Reading’s just too much work.

Guy behind me number 1: Maybe you just haven’t found the kind of book you’d like to read.

Guy behind me number 2: Yeah, maybe. I do feel guilty about not reading. Maybe after the movie, we should drop by the Indigo downstairs.

Guy behind me number 1: Let’s not go to Indigo. I’m boycotting it because Heather Reisman’s a total book censor. She refuses to stock Mein Kampf.

Guy behind me number 2: Never heard of it. What’s it about?

It took a lot of willpower not to burst out laughing at that point.

Conversation 2:
All the cool kids speak Elvish now

The scene: The subway. Bloor line, going westbound. Two girls, perhaps around 13 or 14, talking.

Girl 1: Frodo and Sam are cute.

Girl 2: Uh…who were they again?

Girl 1: You were there, watching the movie right beside me! They were the two hobbits. They had the ring.

Girl 2: I can’t remember anyone’s names in the movie. You like them?

Girl 1: I could marry either one. Maybe both.

Girl 2: Ewwwwwwwwwwww.

Girl 1: Who do you like?

Girl 2: The guy with the long blond hair. He’s a hottie.

Girl 1: Legolas.

Girl 2: His name’s not so hot though. Sounds like Legos.

Girl 1 (rolling her eyes, sighing): Umm, okay. Do you remember the name of the dwarf?

Girl 2: Uh….

Girl 1: It’s Gimli! You have to know this stuff! Don’t you want to be popular?

During my time at high school, any kind of Tolkien knowledge would’ve put you squarely in the unpopular crowd.

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