Blood, sweat, tears…and karaoke

As I mentioned in yesterday’s posting, Kick Ass Karaoke (that’s at the Bovine Sex Club here in Toronto) takes place tomorrow. It’s a fun evening, but for Carson T. Foster, its host, it’s also a delicate balancing act with several factors: the need to keep the audience entertained versus the individual’s desire to be the star of the show for their three or four minutes, keeping bar sales up, dealing with noise problems and making sure the costs are covered.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the politics of karaoke.

The complaint

In addition to its own Web site, Kick Ass Karaoke has a mailing list. Here’s a posting from last week from a disgruntled attendee:

Hi,

I really love Kickass Karaoke, it is an event like no other, BUT…

Could you please play the requests in the order that you get them? Too many times myself and other friends have waited, and waited, our karaoke fires

growing ever cooler, and approached you only to find our requests at the bottom of the pile, and more recent requests being played before ours. I

know, when Bovine-associated persons are present, you have to give them a lot of stage time, but this happens even when Robin Black [Canadian glam rock star who frequents the Bovine. One of his bandmates, Starboy, works at the Bovine. — Ed.] isn’t there. What’s really frustrating is when one friend, who is a longtime regular, gets to go onstage in a timely manner, and the rest of us, who haven’t been

coming as long, have our requests constantly shunted to the back of the pile.

I don’t want to boycott K.A.K. I really love it. But I’m getting upset and it’s a simple matter to fix the situation.

The reply

Here’s Carson’s response…

Hey, thanks for your post. I appreciate your comments and criticisms. In regards to boycotting KAK, you have to do what you feel is right. Kickass Karaoke is worth as much as you paid to get in. [Ed. Note: There’s no cover charge.]

The request list has always been a bit of a headache.

I try to balance people who have never sung at KAK before, with people who haven’t sung that night, with people who arrived at the Bovine at 9:15 (they came early, shouldn’t they be rewarded?). There are also regulars, people who have been supporting the night since day 1. There are the people who practice at home, change lyrics or mix 2 songs together. (Mike and T’s version of Closer/The Gambler comes to mind. Ad Rock’s rapping and Accordion Guy are also good examples).

There are the people who do the same song every month, as if honing it to perfection. And there are the people who go up to sing and just die on-stage. It can be they get lost in the Karaoke version of the song, it can be the intimidation of being in front of a group of people or simply that they just really didn’t know the song as well as they thought they did.

On top of all this, yes, there are the Bovine associated staff, friends and bands who are fun to watch, perform well in front of people, but seldom are willing to wait to sing.

I also try to balance men to woman singers. A girl/boy/girl/boy thing. Otherwise it becomes a college frosh night…and nobody wants that.

As the host I try to keep the show moving along and interesting. The things that slow the evening are:

• People not filling out the request form properly (

  i.e. Singer’s name, song title, disk number and track number)

• People leaving the room and not being there for their request.
• The time it takes for people to get through the crowd to the stage.
• The karaoke disk not playing or skipping.

Also I work as a filter… like a big sponge. I will be more inclined to play something that’s geared to the club and the night, over say, Celine Dion, 9 times out of 10.

I will be more inclined bring up someone I’m familiar with. That’s human nature. Yes, it’s arbitrary…and yes, it’s my judgment call. That’s my job. For those who are upset by this, or feel they could do better, I respectfully suggest you consider starting your own karaoke night. I’d come.

There’s lots of stuff that is at every other karaoke night in the city. That’s fine…for them. I play Rock n’ Roll in a Rock n’ Roll club. That’s me. That’s the Bovine. I try to do my best, yet always, someone feels ignored.

I’ve considered putting the requests into a big drum, spinning it around and pulling out the grand prize winner, but that might be too arbitrary.

I’ve considered strip karaoke. After using a photo of the Men’s US Water Polo team where they were nude except for volleyballs over their privates with the title “KARAOKE NUDE!”, the club started getting calls from various weirdoes who just wanted to be nude in public. That might not be a fun night.

My problem is demand always outstrips supply. On April 17th, I got slammed. By 11pm, we had hit the clubs legal capacity. At that time, I had enough requests to play straight through to 5am. By rights, no one who arrived at the Bovine after 11pm should have sung. A lot of new faces in the audience went home pissed off and angry because they didn’t get the opportunity to sing.

Here’s what I’m going to try this month. I will take 10 request forms at a time. WHEN I CALL FOR THEM. I will not take any requests until I call for them. First 10. Only one song per form. If the request is not filled out correctly, it gets eliminated. If the singer is not there when their name is called, they get eliminated for that night. At the end of those 10, I sing in and out of the break, and I will take another 10 requests.

As the host, I reserve the right to jump someone into the lineup, or to nix a lameass song. If I nix a lameass song, I will offer the singer the opportunity to retain his or her lace in the queue, BUT with a different request. This means that potentially anyone can get in at anytime regardless of when they arrived. I can play until 2am sharp. The noise complaints are the issue here. Sort of like Karaoke Survivor. I may have to make it first 5 guys and first 5 girls. We’ll see how it works.

While I always try to make the night run smoothly and seamlessly, logistically KAK is a bit of a nightmare. People always feel ignored, left out or slighted. Every person in the audience has an opinion on how the night would run better, should be run, what songs should be offered…and all those things that I do wrong. I would suggest that these people have no clue as to the factors involved in KAK.

First, KAK is an expensive night to produce, both for the Bovine and for myself.

A soundman has to come in, rewire the sound system in the backroom, and set up monitors, effects and sound. He returns the next day to do a rewire/tear down. This costs money.

A Bovine staff member sets up the stage, curtains, and soundproofing. Soundproofing has become a major issue in recent months as the club has been getting noise complaints on every KAK night. This person returns the next day to tear this all down. This costs money.

My Karaoke provider, Charlie Calvo, brings by the karaoke machine and additional catalogue. His catalogue is the standard karaoke stuff. All that stuff that I won’t buy. This costs money.

I produce a poster every month (more on this later), the Bovine photocopies said poster (B+W, Color and flyers) and hires a guy to put the B+W up around the city. I put up the color and distribute the flyers on my own time. This costs money.

Every 3 to 4 months, the Bovine photocopies my karaoke catalogue. Presently, 123 double-sided pages x 15 copies. This costs money.

The Bovine purchased a JVC 3 tray karaoke machine. After 12 months, it started to act up intermittently, and finally locked up on one memorable rainy night. I brought it in to JVC and had it repaired, but I still don’t trust the damn thing. I keep it standing by as a backup machine. This costs time and money.

I am paid a nominal fixed amount plus expenses (mostly dry-cleaning the tux). Darryl Fine’s commitment to this event has been considerable. The Bovine has been very generous… considering all the costs involved. This too, costs money.

The Bovine doesn’t charge a cover. All these expenses are all covered by bar sales. Keep in mind that the average business in the service industry usually runs at a ratio of 10 to 1 in terms of bar sales to profit. I now take 10 minute breaks in order to feed the bar. The audience supports the night through their bar sales. The audience supports the bar staff through their tips.

I host a Karaoke night once a month. I work 5 days a week at a flexible job. Karaoke pays, at most, 50% of what I make in my day job. I usually end up taking the Wednesday and Thursday off work in order to set up and wind down KAK. On the Wednesday, I spend approximately 12 hours in and around the Bovine (including the show itself). The Thursday is usually a write off. Decompression Day. It’s impossible for me to get up at 6am after going to bed at 3:30, and perform my work safely. Searching images and producing the monthly poster takes 5 to 10 hours/month.

Karaoke disks cost approximately $12 to $30 (US$). I own 125.

Reprinting my catalogue is a total horror show. I update it to reflect additions to my catalogue. After getting the disk, I have to find the disk listing on line. This listing is not always accurate or correct. After confirming spelling, artist listing and track order, I enter this information into my karaoke database. I print about 3 full copies to proof and check for mistakes. I try to make it easy to find a song in my book.Eventually, I print out a final copy and bring it to Kinko’s. This process takes about a week.

All in all, it’s very time consuming.

Possible Solutions:

• Play a bigger venue
• Hold KAK more than once a month.

A bigger venue won’t help. Because KAK is an audience participatory event, having a larger audience only compounds the problem. Presently, I’m going as fast as I can with breaks. If I don’t take breaks, the bar suffers and I might as well do it in my living room… unless I could start earlier or play later. That’s a possible option.

Having KAK more than once a month is an option that certainly exists. The problem is that I might dilute the audience to the point where it becomes a money pit, both for the venue and myself. Personally, I can’t justify taking 2 additional days off work in another week. KAK already messes up 1 weeks paycheque.

Another thought is doing another night in the same week at another venue. This I could justify, but whether the audience is there to sustain a Wednesday/Thursday type of thing is questionable.

More direct sponsorship to offset costs. i.e. Liquor/Cigarette companies. This would be great. I have no clue who/how to approach this area.

If you have any input or constructive criticism drop a line.

Carson T. Foster

Kickass Karaoke

We’ll have to see how Carson’s new scheme works tomorrow.