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“Unfinished Business” Week, Part 5

Updated “About” Page

The first of many updates to this site. I’ve added a photo gallery sidebar to the “about” page so you can see what a naked man playing accordion looks like.

Go ahead. Click the link. You know you want to…

Shout-outs

Here are some things that I’ve been meaning to say to various people in my life. I will, for the sake of their privacy, not say which thing is for which person. You (and they) will have to figure out that part.

  • Bitch, where’s my money?

  • It was good seeing you again. It’s been too long.

  • Wear looser underwear, man. You’ll feel better.

  • Have you ever been serenaded before? Would you like to be?

  • You fucked up again. Three strikes – you’re out. And judging by what you’re up to, the remainder of your life will be a series of fuck-ups. Stay the hell away from me.

  • Looking forward to the big event, and thanks for mentioning me!

  • Your greatest contribution to the world is providing plants with valuable carbon dioxide.

  • You don’t know what you’re missing…

  • That stuff will eventually melt your brain.

  • Stop being such a doormat!

  • I believe in you. Why don’t you?

  • I know you fear it, but it’s coming for you. And I’m going to watch and laugh.

  • You’re a backstabbing weasel, and I’ve seen your stuff. It’s crap.

  • I should’ve lured you away from your loser boyfriend.

  • No matter what happened, we’ve always persevered, haven’t we? Oh yeah: fuck the new ending.

  • Thanks for all the great opportunities. Here’s to your newest one!

  • I’ll call soon.

  • And you thought I’d never amount to anything. Drop dead, bitch.

  • Wait. Just wait. And watch.

  • You’re going to grow up to be a fine young man if I have anything to do with it.

  • Undressing in front of me was just plain cruel.

  • She had more fun with me.

  • Yeah, I think I look better with blond hair than purple, too.

  • Glad to see you’re back on the meds.

  • I know, I should’ve said something.

  • How ’bout I go interrupt your work and slap the dick out of your mouth?

  • Did I happen to mention that I can cook, too?

  • Thank you. For everything.

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