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Florida Woman and Florida Man wish you a safe and happy Independence Day!

Happy 4th of July from Florida!

(But c’mon, dude — be a gent and take the backpack.)

Thanks to David Janes for the find!

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Tweet of the day (or: Straight outta mansion!)

Screen capture of tweet by “VernorsHerzog” with photo of St. Louis husband and wife pointing guns at a Black Lives Matter protest: "Fox News has done to our parents what they thought gangsta rap would do to us."
Tap the image to see the original tweet.

Need context? See the previous article.

The image of the McCloskeys above matches the imagery in the video for the best white-bread interpretation of a gangsta rap classic — Dynamite Hack’s cover of Boyz in the Hood — that I have to close with it:

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Your daily reminder that we live in the dumbest timeline

White man in a "Make America Great Again" cap, asleep on an airplane seat with his mask pulled over his eyes.

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You were SO close, UPS… (“Your move, UPS” part 3)

After claiming to have attempted delivery to our house twice — claims invalidated our front door camera — things were looking up. Yesterday, I got a call at 12:29 (as recorded on my phone’s call log) that I would receive my delivery from UPS that day. And miracle of miracles, the UPS truck showed up yesterday afternoon at 4:55!

I know the time the truck arrived, because the front door cam caught the truck and the porch cam captured me recording the truck’s arrival for posterity:

The driver parked the truck, got out of his seat, and stepped into the back. I could hear shuffling and rumbling as he searched for the delivery. This continued for three minutes.

And then he emerged from the back and said, “Sorry, sir, it’s not on this truck. It might be on another truck passing through later today.”

No other truck passed through later that day.

Hey, UPS — you’re not very good at this, are you?

In case you missed them, here’s part one and part two.

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Local heroes: Health Mutt and their community pet pantry, a food bank for cats and dogs

Tap the photo to see it at full size.

Seminole Heights’ seal, which depicts a two-headed alligatorIf you’re in Seminole Heights and if you’re in a situation where you might not be able to afford pet food, Health Mutt on the corner of Central and Hanna has set up a community pet pantry. It works on the honor system — take what you need, leave what you can.

Health Mutt is an actual corner store in the middle of a residential neighborhood, which is increasingly rare in this age of strip malls and mega-shopping complexes. They’re one of the go-to places in the community, and I hope they

It’s on one of my bike exercise routes, and even though we don’t have pets (I’m allergic to cats and Anitra’s allergic to dogs), I think I’ll pass by the nearby Publix, pick up a couple of cans of dog and cat food and drop them off there.

Tap the photo to see it at full size.

For more, see this local news station’s report on Health Mutt’s community pet pantry.

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Accordion comic of the day

In case you’re wondering: Yes, I’ve taken the accordion out camping — and to Burning Man as well.

Thanks to Austin Ziegler for the find!

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Your move, UPS (part 2)

UPS says that they attempted a delivery at 9:06 p.m. this evening…

…and this is what my front door camera says:

Tap the image to see it at full size.

One of us is mistaken, and I have evidence.

Did you miss part 1? It’s here.