Categories
It Happened to Me

Longing and Shorting

Please bear with me as I mention the For the Love of Breasts gala one more time. It’s just that it was the setting in which I discovered some colloquialisms that I hadn’t heard before.

At one point in the evening, I was having some Campari-and-sodas with a group of charming young women, all of whom were wearing The Little Black Dress. The one who was sitting beside me cupped her hand, turned to me and whispered “See that guy? My friend Lisa* longs him.”

(* Not her real name.)

I interpreted “longs” as “longs for”. However, later on in the conversation, some guy took a seat beside Lisa and started hitting on her with the grace of a rhino on NyQuil.

“Ugh,” said She Who Sat Beside Me. “She really shorts him. I think we’re all shorting him.”

That’s when it clicked. The girls all worked in the financial industry together; in fact, it seemed that most of the attendees at the gala were in finance or had at least written their CFA exam. They were using financial terminology: longing, as in “buying long” (the way most laypeople think of the stock market — you buy stock because you believe it will increase in value) and shorting as in “selling short” (which is covered rather nicely in this explanation).

It sounded odd to me, but then I thought about it: we computer programmers and techies probably sound just as alien when we say that something owns, is 1337, r0x0rs or sux0rz. It’s just that any field’s jargon used in a dating or mating context always sounds a little creepy. Maybe not furry creepy (“Ooh! Yiffy!”), but creepy nonetheless.

But hey, these girls were cute, and what’s a little creeping-out between friends?

Categories
Uncategorized

Adding a component to your Blogware page

After my posting about adding the Search feature to the blog, someone emailed me and asked how easy it was to do such a thing. Was there any HTML coding involved, or is there a nice and friendly way to do it?

The correct answer is: both! Blogware’s control panel lets you edit all sorts of style sheets which control every aspect of your blog’s look and feel. If you’ve got the time and know-how, you can make a blog complete unlike any other.

However, I’m short time, and I’ll bet you are too. I’ll show the quick-and-easy way of adding new components to your blog.

(Note: Blogware is still in development and some of these features are subject to change. This is largely for the benefit of current Blogware users who’d like to implement Search in their blogs now. However, this should be an indication of the sort of approach we’re taking to user-friendliness while working within the limits of a web-based interface.)

Let’s suppose we have a blog to which we’d like to add Search. Here’s the main page for such a blog:

Click on the picture above to see a larger version.

(All the screenshots show me doing the work in Mac OS X — I thought I’d take a break from doing all the examples in Windows.)

The Search feature is one of several building blocks of a blog called a component. There are all sorts of Blogware componments, including one that displays a list of the most recent entries, one that displays a list of the most recent comments, one that displays the calendar, and so on.

To add, edit, move and delete components, you must log into the Blogware control panel and go to the Layout Manager. Using the Layout Manager is the quickest way to customize the layout of your blog — you also have the option of editing style sheets, but the Layout Manager lets you set up your layout quickly, visually and without the having to know the mysteries of cascading style sheets.

You get to the Layout Manager by clicking the Look and Feel tab on the Navigation Bar, as shown below:

You should see the Component Layout for the main page of your blog. It should look something like this:

Each of the grey-and-white boxes with a label is a component. Here’s the one we want, the Search component:

It’s not on the blog page, and so neither is it on the Layout Manager. Let’s fix that.

The Add Component controls are near the lower left-hand side of the page and look like this:

Let’s suppose we want to add the Search component to the left sidebar. To do this, we:

  • Select Search from the Component menu
  • Select Left Sidebar from the Location menu
  • Click Add

The new component will be added to the bottom of the left sidebar:

We’ve just added the Search component to the page. Suppose we want it to be the second component from the top of the left sidebar, just below the Welcome Text component. We can move it using the control.

Here’s the sidebar after clicking the control once. Note that Search and Logout Button have switched places.

A few more clicks of the control and the Search component is right where we want it:

If we were to view the blog now, it would look like this:

Click on the picture above to see a larger version with the Search component highlighted.

Categories
Accordion, Instrument of the Gods It Happened to Me

Accordion tidbits [Updated]

UPDATE: Oops — forgot to link to the Born to Be Wild video. Here it is.

BloggerCon and Born to Be Wild

BloggerCon has long come and gone, but I’d forgotten to link to the video that Jim Moore took of me at Dave Winer’s closing discussion (when Dave introduced me to Wendy, he told her I was to be granted “special accordion privileges”. Thanks, Dave!). Here it is: Born to Be Wild, rock anthem of bikers and bloggers.

Betsy Devine of Feedster says that she’s “gotta try to remember the chorus of Born to Be Wild. Here are all the lyrics, Betsy, they’re easy!

Get your motor runnin’

Head out on the highway

Lookin’ for adventure

And whatever comes our way

Yeah Darlin’ go make it happen

Take the world in a love embrace

Fire all of your guns at once

And explode into space

I like smoke and lightning

Heavy metal thunder

Racin’ with the wind

And the feelin’ that I’m under

Yeah Darlin’ go make it happen

Take the world in a love embrace

Fire all of your guns at once

And explode into space

Like a true nature’s child

We were born, born to be wild

We can climb so high

I never wanna die

Born to be wild

Born to be wild

In case you’re curious, the verse rides on E, while the Holy Trinity of Rawk — E, G and A — form the backbone of the chorus.

Steppenwolf, like AC/DC, Nine Inch Nails and Outkast, are an accordion band that just haven’t realized it yet.

Chicks dig accordions

Jim Elve, acdcordionist and guy behind BlogsCanada writes:

I was suggesting to one of my young nephews recently that he should take up the accordion and that the good looking babes would flock to him. He scoffed.

Joey deVilla, however, provides ample proof again and again.

The accordion helps, but there are some other factors:

  • I leave polka to the experts. That’s a polite way of saying “Polka is not the babe magnet it once was.” Of course, polka playing requires amazing technique that I don’t have; I’ll readily admit that my pared-down punk rock approach to the accordion would get me laughed out of a polka hall.
  • I play to my strengths. I learned just enough pop keyboard technique before my shenanigans at a recital (I made a mockery of Barry Manilow’s Weekend in New England) got me kicked out of the Yamaha Organ School (there’s a story). From there, I joined a number of bands throughout high school and at Crazy Go Nuts University and even took some jazz piano lessons. I breathe rock, pop, soul, jazz, electronica and hip-hop, so I play music in that genre.

    Lately, from playing with Lindi (in her earlier incarnation) and noodling along to the Amelie soundtrack, I’ve found that I have a secret talent for playing romantic musette pieces in the French style. Perhaps when this Internet craze blows over, I’ll open a little cafe and play in it.

  • I’m using the element of surprise. The accordion comes with years of cultural fol-de-rol attached to it, and much of it ain’t pretty. It conjures images of old men (I think of the old Polish fella at the local multicultral festival called Caravan, pushing the hot vodka drink krupnik, telling all the young ladies “ees goot foor zex!“), Urkel and the Schmenge Brothers.

    People never expect She Sells Sanctuary played on an accordion, and the shock usually causes them to forget all their musical instrument prejudices.

  • I am confident and shameless. You have to be if you’re going to wander into bars, lounges, clubs and parties with an accordion. It helps to have a glib tongue and even an “elevator pitch” about why you’re wandering about with the instrument.

    With or without an accordion or similar totem, confidence is necessary. Nobody respects a doormat, and they certainly ain’t gonna shower lovin’ on one, either. You need iron balls, kiddo! You gotta clank when you walk! (And if you can play Chocolate Salty Balls on the accordion, so much the better.)

    If you’d like to do this, but you’re not sure how, Halley Suitt’s How to Become an Alpha Male should point you in the right direction.

  • Dress nicely. Bathe. Hit the gym. Lose the junk food. Looking good helps, and being healthy will also make you a better accordion player. It’s a physically demanding instrument, especially if you sing along and doubly so if you sing and do Elvis moves.

The new accordion

My first accordion, the Titano, is finally beginning to show signs of serious wear. There’s an air leak in the body that I’ve patched up with duct tape, two keytops are missing, and the reed selectors are in need of some serious repair. It’s been good to me for almost five years, and I think it’s time to relegate it to taking to rough-and-tumble bars, busking and camping. I needed a new accordion, one that fit somewhere between the “street” accordion and the “gig” accordion, a Crucianelli with lovely reeds and a very sweet French sound.

I got this two Saturdays ago, on the afternoon before the For the Love of Breasts gala. The gala was its first night out, and if that was any indication, this new one has some powerful babe-magnet mojo that science cannot yet explain.

I picked it up at Richmond’s Trading Post (151 Church Street, on the east side, a half-block north of Queen), a reputable pawn shop of the Church Street pawn shop strip. It came with a case and sold for $395. I paid in cash, so they didn’t ask for tax.

It was the second-most expensive accordion in the shop; the most expensive one was selling for a mere $50 more, and had a great black body with white and gold trim, but didn’t sound as nice, nor was the volume between the chord buttons and keyboard balanced (the chord buttons drowned out even the loudest register on the keyboard). I chose it after trying every piano accordion in the store, checking each reed switch, playing each chord button and key in every setting, both during the “inhale” and “exhale” of the bellows. I checked the bellows for air leaks and looked for signs of wear in the usual places (I’m an expert on accordion wear now, after having dragged the Titano all over the world).

My thanks to the fine people at Richmond’s Trading Post for putting up with me testing every accordion. You rule, guys!

The For the Love of Breasts gala was its first night out, and what a night! While dancing with some lovely women during the band’s first song, the lead singer spotted me from the stage and called me up.

“Look man, that’s amazing that you can play along. We’re doing all cover tunes, and you’re free to join us onstage for the whole first set. I’m gonna make it so that the women are all over you tonight.”

I looked at the set list. Some of the tunes were:

  • Video Killed the Radio Star by the Buggles
  • Kiss by Prince
  • Don’t You Want Me by Human League
  • Brown-Eyed Girl by Van Morrison
  • You Shook Me All Night Long by AC/DC

All crowd-pleasers and all of them easy to play (especially the last one, which I can play even after having killed a bottle of Jagermeister.) This was too easy.

Here’s a video of the You Shook Me All Night Long segment. I think I’m channelling My Aim Is true-era Elvis Costello in my moves. Nerdy, yet cool. I can live with that.

The night, at least up until 1:00 a.m. is chronicled in this photo album. I must extend my thanks to Eldonj Brown, who took most of the pictures and played the role of faithful wingman for the night. I owe Eldon many, many hours of wingman duty now.

After that, things went well too, but I think I’ll skip blogging that part. I will simply say “it was a lovely evening” and leave it at that.

I love this instrument.

Categories
Toronto (a.k.a. Accordion City)

"Spacing" magazine launch party tomorrow night (part one of the "public space" discussion)

Photo: 'Spacing' magazine cover.

There’s a new magazine in town called Spacing. I’ll let them do the talking:

Public spaces are where people interact, discuss, teach, learn, participate, proclaim, and protest. Public space is essential for democracy, yet it seems to be shrinking.

We live in a society where cars rule the road while big box stores and mega-malls encourage us to stay in them. Downtown, Toronto’s newest public square is surrounded by the highest concentration of ads in Canada, and comes complete with explicit rules, private guards, and security cameras to make sure the public expression that occurs there stays in line. Even one of our oldest forms of public communication, postering, is now under attack.

It is from these concerns that the idea to start a magazine entirely devoted to public space sprang to life. Spacing is a project of the Toronto Public Space Committee, the activist group responsible for Guerrilla Gardening, Variance Vexation, Art Attack, as well as being the most vocal opponent of Toronto’s proposed anti-postering by-law.

On December 4th, Spacing will launch its first 40-page issue. It will feature stories on issues such as postering, public art, and Dundas Square, as well as some of the people, places, and events that make living in Toronto interesting. Issue number one was designed and art directed by m@b comic artist Matthew Blackett, and includes contributions from The Middle Stories author Sheila Heti, Toronto Life and Marketing Magazine journo Ryan Bigge, former eye weekly news editor Jennifer Prittie, illustrators Matt Daley, graphic artist Mark Ngui, and photographer Kevin Steele.

Spacing aspires to raise awareness and create a dialogue about Toronto’s public space. Ultimately, we want to provide citizens with more tools, information, and resources to get out and start Spacing.

The launch party will be held at The 360 (326 Queen Street West, on the north side, about half a block east of Spadina). The party starts at 9 p.m. and admission is $10 (which entitles you to a copy of the magazine).

Next: Dundas Square: Threat or Menace?

Recommended reading

Featured at the launch

New Urbanism

Categories
Uncategorized

New features, at least for this blog anyway…

Little conveniences for readers of this blog, all in the left sidebar:

  • Recent Entries: The five last articles I’ve posted, listed by title.
  • Recent Comments: The five last comments posted, listed by title.
  • Search: It’s one of Blogware’s newest features, barely a couple of weeks old, and one of my hands-down favourites. Just enter a search term and hit the “Go” button. It’s a pretty neat feature and faster than snakes on ice!

And let’s not forget the new and improved Blogware Manual, written by a dashing young Filipino accordion-playing gentleman whom I know…

Categories
Uncategorized

You want a doctored photo? HERE’S a doctored photo.

Despite what some others may believe, here’s the only doctored photo on the blog’s main page…

That rat-bastard Jon (a.k.a. “Jonny Fairplay”) from Survivor knows no limits when it comes to playing to win. According to Guile, he voted me off the island!

Categories
Uncategorized

Blogware’s "Help" Files, radically revised

For those of you who are either Blogware users or interested in seeing what kind of features Blogware has, I’ve posted the latest version of Blogware’s “help” files, and will be adding a little bit more each day.

The “radical revision” I’m referring to is the change from Blogware’s help docs as mostly a feature-by-feature reference manual to a task-oriented one. It’s now all about answering “How do I do this?”-style questions. I’ve made sure that all the most common tasks have been covered, but if I’ve missed something, drop me a line in the comments or email me!

The feature-by-feature reference manual will eventually happen, but that time isn’t just yet. The design is still changing rapidly (and for the better and easier-to-use).