Billegible has created what has to be the best Star Wars T-shirt ever. It says “Geektease” on the front, and this on the back:
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For Your "Star Wars"-related Amusement…
Here’s Meco’s disco version of the Star Wars theme
[5.9 MB, MP3], a big radio hit when I was in the fifth grade and when
the tag line for the movie was “the story of a boy, a girl…and a
universe!”
Just Saw the Movie
I’ve just come back from the 12:01 a.m. screening of Revenge of the Sith, which was fun to watch and will probably rate a close second to The Empire Strikes Back in my books.
Getting in was much easier than I thought. My housemate Paul bought
tickets from the nearby Festival Hall theatre at noon. He reported that
there were already a dozen people — “one of them a girl!” — lined up
outside the theatre.
We showed up at the theatre — an easy four blocks from the house — at
about 10:30 p.m.. I was expecting crowds and queues, but Festival Hall
seems to have taken a new tack. All the theatres, at least a dozen in
total, were slated to show Sith at 12:01. Rather than make people wait
in line, they simply didn’t show any movies that evening and let people
wait in the theatres. It made for a more comfortable and relaxed experience.
The Canadian Parallel
If you check the right-wing pundits, you’ll see that a number of them have commented negatively about the unsubtle jabs that Revenge of the Sith
takes at the Bush administration. Lucas handles this with the subtlety
of Ron Jeremy in a room full of porn stars and pork chops. What might
not be as apparent is the unintentional parallel to the current
situation in Canadian politics.
Telling the story of Anakin’s switching from Jedi to Sith is a tricky thing to do in two hours’ worth of movie,
especially if you’re a leaden storyteller like George Lucas. I’d have
said that Anakin’s conversion for the sake of attaining greater power
was contrived and could never happen in real life…
…that is, if it weren’t for
this week’s real-life example of Belinda Stronach making a quick and unexpected switch from the Conservatives to the Liberals, surprising even her boyfriend Peter MacKay
(the Deputy Leader of the Conservatives!). I can imagine MacKay, who’s
taking time out at his father’s farm to reflect, screaming like
Obi-Wan: “You were supposed to be the Chosen One!“
Aunt Beru!
Let me just say that although she gets all of 10 seconds’ worth of screen time, Aunt Beru looks really good in this movie. Hot. Makes me wonder why Uncle Lars is so damned grumpy. Too bad she gets killed by stormtroopers in the next movie.
Attack of the Bones
I was beginning to regret not bringing a book or magazine to kill the
hour and a half while sitting in the theatre when we found Paul’s
friends from his taekwondo class sitting several rows back. One of them
had brought a laptop and the Attack of the Clones DVD. The following is a reasonably accurate transcript of the conversation that took place as we watched the DVD:
Paul: Friend 1, you know my housemate Joey, right?
Friend 1: Accordion Guy! Hey, take a seat. Watch the DVD.
Friend 2: Joey, you know Star Wars, right?
Me: I know a few things, but some of the fans here probably know waaaay more. Like that guy dressed up as Darth Maul with the red lightsaber.
Friend 2: What’s up with Anakin and Padme? Why are they trying to stay away from each other?
Friend 1: And when do they bone?
Me: Right between Episode II and Episode III.
Friend 2: They gotta bone. I mean, I’d bone Natalie Portman.
Me: Yeah, she’s cute.
Friend 1: Dude, they have to bone — that’s how you get Luke and Leia.
Friend 2: Why don’t they bone in the movie?
Me: Because it’s against the rules.
Friend 1: Jedi can’t bone?!
Me: That’s the rule — no attachments.
Friend 2: I’ve boned chicks I wasn’t attached to.
Me: I don’t think that’s how the rule works.
Friend 1: That means a Jedi could bone if she wasn’t, like, his girlfriend or if they were married.
Me: No, I think the rule is “no boning”.
Friend 2: Jedi can’t bone? Shiiiiiiiiit.
Me: Yeah, I’d be a deadly warrior too if I weren’t allowed to bone. Cutting people and moving shit with my mind.
There’s a brief pause.
Friend 1: You sure they don’t bone in the movie?
Click the picture to see the whole poster. MAY NOT BE SAFE FOR WORK or OLD SCHOOL MONARCHISTS (boobs, tassels, descration of Queen Victoria’s image).
My friend Mysterion the Mind Reader
(who really does look like Jon Stewart’s evil younger brother) is
hosting not just one, but three nights of burlesque, vaudeville and
magic/mentalist tricks this weekend at Mitzi’s Sister (1554 Queen Street West, three blocks eats of Roncessvalles). There’s no cover for this event — that’s right, these are three nights of shows, gratis!
- Friday’s guests:
- The Dirty Hearts
- Scarlette Sylphide
- Tanya Cheex
- Saturday’s guests:
- The Providers
- Special surprise guests
- Sunday’s guests:
- The Whammies
- Mitzy Cream
And of course, Mysterion and Penny Whistleton (she of the classic “One Girl, Four Tassels” act, will perform.
A pity I’m not in town. If you’re going to be in Accordion City this weekend, you might want to celebrate the long weekend by taking in a show!
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I’ll Let Sass Drive
Postmodern Sass, everyone’s favourite sprachspiel, has the lowdown on Monday’s Kickass Karaoke.
Keith Olbermann summarizes Fox News astutely:
…it’s the newscast
perpetually running on the giant video screens in the movie “1984”.
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"This Party’s Over!"
In yesterday’s entry, titled I am Mace Windu, I gave away an important plot point about Revenge of the Sith
without providing the customary spoiler warning. A small number of fans
patiently awating the movie’s release have been on me like flies on a bantha, and rightfully so. The oversight has been corrected, and my apologies to the fans.