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In the News It Happened to Me Music

RIP Jimmy Smith: 1926 – 2005

Photo: Jimmy Smith at the Hammond B-3.

Jimmy Smith, master of the “Full Eights” sound on the mighty Hammond B-3!

Around 1985, the Yamaha Organ School was doing its damndest to expunge

my love for music and my sense of rhythm. While Yamaha’s musical

instrument division were practically redefining instruments — consider

the Yamaha grand piano’s bright sound, favoured by Glenn Gould and many

rock pianists, as well as the DX-7 synthesizer and the WX-7, which let

sax and clarinet players play synth — the ghouls behind the home organ

division crafted a course bereft of soul and full of schmaltz. I had a

teacher who had a bit of a legato fetish; she was an advocate of a

playing style in which the notes blurred together into a bland aural

mush. To make matters worse, I was only two out of fourteen songs

through the required Barry Manilow songbook.

After making sure that I got kicked out of organ school at the annual

recital (long story, which I’ll recount later), I became a synth player

full-time. I even went to far as to erase any of the organ sounds from

my Akai AX-60 synth. I’d had enough of that infernal instrument.

What changed my mind was a music course I took at Crazy Go Nuts

University: “Science and Technology for Musicians”. It qualified as an

“arts” course for engineering students and as a “science” course for

the music students. I often gave them a hand with the science parts

(“Uh, Joey, how do I draw a graph of a 5Hz sine wave with an amplitude

of 2?”) and they gave me a hand with non-keyboard instruments (“Uh,

Dave, how do I play a scale on a clarinet?”).

During the course, I wound up writing a paper on the Hammond B-3 organ.

This instrument was clearly the invention of a former watchmaker: a

classic Hammond is essentially a big electric motor driving a gear

system which in turn drives a series of wheels that made sound. While

writing the paper, I decided to hit the music library and listen to

artists who were considered B-3 virtuosos; that’s when I discovered

Jimmy Smith.

My bad experiences at the Yamaha Organ School, coupled with a teacher

who was more devoid of funk than the entire Michigan Militia, led me to

forget that one could play the organ with rhythm and even staccato

attacks. On the organ, Jimmy Smith’s hands and feet could be weapons;

his playing style defined what we now considered to be the de facto

organ soloing and pedalling style.

Musicians who redefine the way their

instrument is played tend to draw inspiration from other instruments. For example, Carlos Santana says that in order to perfect his signature guitar playing style, he played Dionne Warwick albums over and over and listened to her voice.

In Smith’s case, he drew inspiration from trumpet players, mimicking

their lines. He even emulated their sound in solos by killing the Leslie

(an organ spaker mounted on a rotating stand that gives organs their

“whirling” sound) and slamming every drawbar save the lowest and

highest to the “zero” setting.

After buying Jimmy’s live album, Root Down (whose name you should recognize — the Beastie Boys covered the title track on Ill Communication),

I reprogrammed the organ sounds back into my synth, and made sure than

any subsequent synth I bought could do a decent B-3 impression. Later,

when the organ made its comeback in rock in the early 1990’s (thanks

largely to the “Madchester” sound of bands like the Charlatans,

Inspiral Carpets, Milltown Brothers, et. al.), I copped more than my

fair share of Jimmy Smith licks at gigs. In 1994, I got to completely “Smith

out” when the band we opened for let me use their B-3 and Leslie. It

was heaven.

My last

synth — a Korg WaveStation A/D,

which I still have — has a patch I programmed: a monster B-3 sound

with a touch of distortion and a decent Leslie effect paired with

spring reverb. When you dial it up, its name appears in capital letters

on the display: JIMMY SMITH.


Jimmy Smith died on Tuesday at the age of 79. He’d been playing the organ for 50 years and would’ve embarked on a tour with Joey “The other keyboardist named Joey” deFrancesco next month.

Thanks, Jimmy, for all the music, and for helping me fall in love with the organ again.

Categories
In the News

Happy Chinese New Year!

It’s the Year of the Rooster!

Of course, if you’re into rampant Beavis-and-Buttheadism like me,

you’re going to be and keep referring to it as “Year of the Cock” or

better yet, by my own coinage: “Cocktoberfest”.

(I prefer my coinage: it’s poultry in motion!)

Kung hei fat choy, everybody.

Graphic: Colonel Sanders/KFC logo with 'Kung hei Fat Choy!' below 'KFC'.

At least, we finally know what KFC truly stands for. D’you think Colonel Sanders and General Tao ever served together?

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In the News

"Bottoms Up!"

[via Bacon and Eh’s] The headline says it all: Sherry Enema Kills Man.

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In the News

Happy Belated 100th, Ayn Rand!

Photo: Ayn Rand, with the caption 'I knew some Objectivists once. Then they turned 17.'

Ayn Rand (nee Alissa “Alice”

Zinovievna Rosenbaum) would’ve turned 100 yesterday. To quote Chistopher “Incoming Signals” Bahn, we should all bake cakes and then not share them with anybody.

Rand did get a few things right, in my opinion: communism bad,

capitalism good, reward the talented who produce good output. But her

philosophy, Objectivism, also casts petty selfishness, meanness and

“screw you” as virtues and altruism and charity as vice. Its version of

morality is overly simple and already comes built-in with any five-year

old.


Her followers at the Ayn Rand Institute are no picnic either. Consider the essay What Young People Really Need: Not Volunteerism but Happiness and Heroes:

There is nothing wrong with an individual doing charity work, if it

is not a sacrifice for him. But charity is not a moral ideal, nor does

human life depend on it. Achievement is the moral ideal because man’s

life does depend on it.

If you live by this code of achievement, and struggle for your own

values and attain happiness, then, as a by-product, your life will

serve as an inspiration to others, showing them how much is possible,

giving them courage to struggle for their own achievements. Michael

Jordan, for example, has been termed a “know-nothing capitalist” by

those who, like the President [Bill Clinton at the time the article was written — Joey], hold that goodness consists of taking

poor children to the zoo on a summer day. But a question needs to be

raised to the advocates of volunteerism. What do you think young people

find more inspiring: the sight of Jimmy Carter building churches in the

jungles of Guatemala, or the vision of Michael Jordan soaring through

the air, winning championships and earning millions, then flashing his

joyous, brilliant, life-giving smile? The truth is that Michael

Jordan’s extraordinary success has inspired far more young people,

poor, middle-class or rich, black, white or Asian, to strive for their

own dreams than an army of social workers could ever think possible. As Ayn Rand puts it in Atlas Shrugged, “The sight of an achievement is the greatest gift that a human being could offer to others.”

What. An. Ass. The parable A Boy’s Life or Death is even worse, suffering from both bad philospohy and ham-fisted writing.


Ayn Rand is the topic of discussion on MetaFilter and on the cover of this month’s issue of Reason magazine. If you’d like to find out more about her from a devotee and a detractor, consider this essay by acolyte Leonard Peikoff and this smackdown by Catherine Daligga.

(Amusing note: according to Daligga’s essay, Rand’s funeral wreath was a six-foot floral dollar sign. She was gangsta rap before gangsta rap!). Bling bling, Annie!


Proof that there’s a dating service for every subculture: there’s an Ayn Rand dating and networking site!

Who wants to bet that all those dates are “Dutch”?

Categories
In the News

Ann Coulter Gets Her Ass Fact-Checked by the CBC

Video still: Ann Coulter on CBC.

“And Canada also pitched in during the War of the Worlds in 1938…”

Here’s a video clip (700K, QuickTime, enclosure) featuring Ann “Four

legs good, two legs better!” Coulter doing what she does best — going

with her gut feeling and coming up with unsubstantiated facts to back

them up. In this segment, an appearance on the CBC’s news magazine show, The Fifth Estate, she’s quite sure that Canada participated in

the Vietnam war (which in fact, was not the case).

I’ll put my cards on the table right now: Coulter is a completely

insane bitch. Her worldview is that sort of “if you’re not completely

with us, you’re must be an enemy after our precious bodily fluids”

thinking — consider her books Treason (in which she equates anything other than her brand of neoconservatism as such) and How to Talk to a Liberal (If You Must)

(the sort of back-patting cliquery that one should’ve dispensed with

after high school). I’ve read both books and must say that I’ve seen

better paper after wiping my ass.

Categories
In the News

The Conservative Analysis on Why Spongebob Squarepants is Gay

Click the image to see the full-size version.

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In the News

Nicely Done!

Thankfully, what actually happened

Photo: An Iraqi woman holds up her hand, and shows a purple finger, indicating

  she has just voted, as she leaves a polling station in the centre of Az

  Zubayr, Iraq. (AP/Andrew Parsons/Pool)

…was much better than National Lampoon’s joke predictions:

Photo: National Lampoon parody Iraq vote poster: 'Election 2005: Vote and Die!'

All things considered, I hope the vote goes to Iyad Allawi of the

“Thinly Disguised American Puppet Party” rather than Ahmad Chalabi of

the “Iranian Puppet Party”.

Photo: National Lampoon parody Iraq vote ballot featuring Iyad Allawi of the 'Thinly Disguised American Puppet Party', Ahmad Chalabi of

  the 'Iranian Puppet Party' and several assasinated municipal candidates.

Let’s just see what we can do about making history not repeat itself. As Daily

Kos points out, there was an another election that had an equal

promise:

U.S. Encouraged by Vietnam Vote :

Officials Cite 83% Turnout Despite Vietcong Terror

by Peter Grose, Special to the New York Times (9/4/1967: p. 2)

WASHINGTON, Sept. 3– United States officials were surprised and

heartened today at the size of turnout in South Vietnam’s presidential

election despite a Vietcong terrorist campaign to disrupt the voting.

According to reports from Saigon, 83 per cent of the 5.85 million

registered voters cast their ballots yesterday.  Many of them risked

reprisals threatened by the Vietcong.

The size of the popular vote and the inability of the Vietcong to

destroy the election machinery were the two salient facts in a

preliminary assessment of the nation election based on the incomplete

returns reaching here.

[The article links to the original New York Times pieces.]

Cross your fingers, folks.