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Survival

Illustration from 'To Build a Fire'.

One story that will stick with me forever is Jack London’s short story of winter survival, To Build a Fire. It seemed as if it was on the curriculum of every Canadian grade school when I was a young teenager, and I’m sure everyone who’s taken a winter survival course was told to read it as a cautionary tale.

Two people walking in the desert.

Later, at Crazy Go Nuts University, at the start of COMM 101 — “Intro to Business” — one of the first group exercises we did in the class was to explain how we’d handle a hypothetical situation. The purpose of the exercise was to demonstrate group dynamics and decision-making, and it went like this: We were in a small plane that crashed in the desert somewhere in the southwestern U.S.. The pilot is dead, and we have limited supplies: some water, a knife, a little food, salt tables, a large white parachute and a few other items. There’s nothing but flats as far as the eye can see. What do we do?

I argued for staying with plane, taking shelter, stretching our water supply and making ourselves as findable as possible. Someone else in our group, who’d just seen the movie Alive a few days prior, argued that we’d die if we stayed there. She said that the only way to survive was to make our way towards civilization or a road.

Although the purpose of the exercise was to explain the 90/10 dynamic of groups (generally, a group is 10% alpha dogs — me and the Alive fan — and 90% pack) and other aspects of group decision-making, we were given the correct answer, and that was to stay put and use the parachute as both shielding against the sun and a way of being spotted from the air. Even after the explanation, the Alive fan was unconvinced. “But…Alive…” she said.

One of these days, I’m going to have to rent that movie.

Kati Kim, after being rescued.
Kati Kim, after being rescued after nine days of being trapped in a car on a mountain in Oregon.

I bring up both these stories because the story of James Kim and his family reminded me of them. If you’re a follower of the tech news or live on the American west coast, you’ve probably heard this news. James Kim, an editor for CNET and familiar face for G4/TechTV viewers, his wife Kati and daughters Penelope and Sabine went missing days ago on a road trip to the Pacific Northwest. Their story, in a nutshell: they took a mountain road that they thought would be a shortcut and ended up getting trapped in very deep snow. They ran the engine to power the heater until it ran out of gas, and then burned the tires. Finally, James set off to get help. Kati and the girls were found alive nine days later and are in good condition. The search for James continues.

I’m very happy that Kati and the kids have been found, and my heart goes out to them. I hope they find James alive and well, and soon.

James Kim and his two daughters, Penelope and Sabine.
James Kim and his daughters.

Back in the fall of 1986 and the winter of 1987, I made the drive between Toronto and Montreal an average of once every three weeks to party with my sister and her friends at McGill (those stories should be blogged someday). The driving, while nowhere nearly as treacherous as the mountain routes taken by the Kim family, could still be pretty bad at times; sometimes, the snowfall and winds would be so bad that we had to pull over and wait. I never let the gas gauge drop significantly below half-full, and I always had an extra sweater, a small shovel, a road safety kit and some Wunderbars handy. The longest I ever had to sit still in a storm was about five hours, after which I had to dig out the car.

As I mentioned earlier, the Kims’ problem is orders of magnitude worse than anything I’ve faced. Highway 401 is not the same thing as the mountain pass they took. Even if I’d run out of gas during a blizzard on the 401, help is never far away from that very well-travelled route.

Here’s a question for the winter survival experts: if in the situation like the Kims (let’s ignore the prevention aspect for the moment), is it better to stay put, or go for help?

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In the News

Supertelevangelistic Sex-and-Drugs Psychosis

If you remember Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious from the Mary Poppins movie and if you’ve heard of the Pastor Ted scandal, you’ll love Supertelevangelistic Sex-and-Drugs Psychosis!

The song is performed by Spaff, and you can download it here [1.8 MB].

Here are the lyrics — feel free to sing along!

I used to be a master of the anti-gay crusade

Until a butch disaster blew my pastor masquerade

But if it’s true I’m pounding more than pulpits, don’t blame me

It’s ’cause I caught my hooker-tweaker-stud’s infirmity

It’s

Supertelevangelistic sex-and-drugs psychosis

Worse than plague and bird flu crossed with osteoporosis

We were playing doctor and he gave this diagnosis:

Supertelevangelistic sex-and-drugs psychosis

Umm Haggard Bakker Swaggart umm Tammy Faye

Umm Haggard Bakker Swaggart umm Tammy Faye

I found the perfect therapist – the kind that gives massage

I like to drive my Escort and I park in his garage

I swear he only serves me crank when all his Coke is gone

And then he helps me straighten out my Peter, James, and John

Blame

Supertelevangelistic sex-and-drugs psychosis

That’s my greatest guilty pleasure next to Guns N’ Roses

Good thing there’s no ban on it in all the books of Moses

Supertelevangelistic sex-and-drugs psychosis

Umm Haggard Bakker Swaggart umm Tammy Faye

Umm Haggard Bakker Swaggart umm Tammy Faye

It seems all pious public figures bugger on the sly

But Jesus loved republicans and sinners; so must I

Say “Holy moley, Mister Foley! That boy’s underage!”

But I believe the congressman has turned another page

Oh!

Supertelevangelistic sex-and-drugs psychosis

Next time, better cut me off at handshakes and Mimosas

No more meth or men for me – at least in overdoses!

Supertelevangelistic sex-and-drugs psychosis!

(Just a spoonful of crystal helps the prostitute go down…)

Thanks to Making Light for the link.

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In the News

File This Under "Classy Parents Raising Classy Children"

Here’s a still from the video of Rick Santorum’s concession speech in which his son fails the Kobayashi Maru Test:


Click to see the original. Thanks to Richard for pointing me to the photo!

As Wonkette puts it in a post titled Rick Santorum’s Two Dozen Kids Hate You:

There are so, so many things to love about this picture. Well, three things: Rick Santorum conceding, a little girl crying, and an awkward pre-teen flipping off the nation. We declare this the official screenshot of the 2006 midterm congressional elections.

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In the News

The Best Comment and Photo on Last Night’s U.S. Midterm Elections…

The best comment on last night’s U.S. midterm elections comes from Jonah Goldberg of the National Review:

I for one welcome our new Democratic overlords. I’d like to remind them that as a trusted rightwing personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves.

As for the best photo from last night’s elections, it’s of Reprehensible Rick Santorum and family at his concession speech. He clearly forgot to give the wife and kids the “let’s all keep a stiff upper lip” talk:

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Geek In the News

Today’s "Global Nerdy" Plug

Nobody writes a marketing slogan like my buddy George. His catchphrase for our tech blog, Global Nerdy, is “You’ll come out of pity, but you’ll return out of mild interest”. Why this guy isn’t the Wizard of Madison Avenue, I’ll never know.

Some of the recent stories on Global Nerdy:

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In the News

Five Girls for Every Boy

In the International Herald-Tribune, there’s an article on the social situation in Beirut, where young women outnumber young men by a ratio of five to one. The sex ratio skew is the result of the dire employment situation in Lebanon: the educated and ambitious men to seek their fortunes abroad while the women stay home (apparently the guys who stay behind are the dolts, the shiftless and the local equivalent of Ned Flanders.)

The practical upshot of all this is that when the men come home, they return to “one of the world’s most aggressive cultures of female display”. Simply put, the entire place turns into Coyote Ugly.

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In the News

Bobbing for Apples, Cheney-Style and "Dilbert’s" Change of Mind

It’s a day late, but here’s an amusing Hallowe’en comic courtesy of Miss Fipi Lele:

Comic: 'Apple-bobbing at the Cheneys'.

In torture-related news, Dilbert creator Scott Adams — whose opinion matters among the educated, rationalist, leaning-towards-libertarian crowd (geeks, technologists and such) — has shifted slightly in his opinion on torture, from “pro” to “undecided”:

The media have trotted out expert after expert to say that regular non-torture interrogation is MORE effective than torture. I discounted those experts as selectively chosen by the liberal media. One thing that all of the experts seemed to have in common is that none of them had USED torture. So how would they know torture was worse than the alternative?

But much time has passed since this debate began. You’d think that the proponents of torture (cough, cough, Fox New, cough) would have produced one credible torturer to say, “Torture works great! I get all of my information in minutes and I’m home to help the kids with homework by five!”

Or perhaps the media could find one torture victim who would say, “I wasn’t going to tell them anything until they started water-boarding me. Man, that stuff works!”

Now granted, it might be hard to find someone to confess to being a torturer. And it might be even harder to find someone who was tortured who is willing to endorse it. But it seems to me that with all the torturing going on, you could at least find a friend of a friend who saw it work. Or the American government could find some CIA operative who is willing to be filmed in silhouette with his voice garbled saying he’s seen torture produces excellent results.

But nothing? For years?

Move me to the skeptical column. The burden is on the proponents of torture to produce some proof that it works. I still don’t rule out the possibility that torture can be effective, but if it’s being done in my name, I want some fucking evidence.