Author: Joey deVilla

A slightly redacted and edited photo of my new driver’s license.
(Florida is America’s identity theft capital, after all.)

I now have a Florida Class E Driver’s License!

It took all of fifteen minutes, from entering the the Tampa – West Country Tax Collector Office, to showing my paperwork and having over 55 bucks and my Ontario driver’s licence, to getting my photo taken, to leaving with my new local credentials. As a licensed Canadian driver, I was took only a quick vision test; no written or practical driver’s test was required.

(If only I’d remembered that you can smile in a Florida driver’s license photo. You can’t do that for Canadian ID, as smiling throws off their facial recognition software.)

If you’re a Canadian citizen who wants to get a Florida driver’s license, the GatherGoGet site will give you all the information you need to get started.

Click the photo to read more about how it got people angry.

If you thought Jurassic Park director Steven Spielberg’s hunting down of extinct species for sport was bad, things have become much worse. Someone notify Captain Kirk!

Click the photo to see it at full size.
Photo found via “borg drone”.

Here’s a screenshot from Entertainment Weekly’s piece on Pixels, a movie that blends 1980s videogame nostalgia with the “men who failed to launch tap into their thwarted potential and become heroes” trope. Note the difference between the headline and the picture:

Three names in the headline, four people in the picture, and whaddaya know — they skipped the chick’s name. It’s not that she’s an unknown — she’s Michelle Monaghan, who’s been in Mission: Impossible III, Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Gone Baby Gone, Made of Honor, The Heartbreak Kid, Eagle Eye, Source Code, and True Detective.

She’s probably more recognizable than Josh Gad, who’s better known for his stage work (he was Elder Arnold in The Book of Mormon) and best known for his voice work — as Olaf the snowman in Frozen. Adam Sandler’s career of late has seen him in more turkeys than Stove-Top stuffing. Michelle Monaghan rates a mention in the headline, but doesn’t get one because an editor at EW is subconsciously following Peter Griffin’s maxim: “Women are not people. They are devices built by our Lord Jesus Christ for our entertainment.”

These were all on heavy rotation during the early ’90s, when I had a regular DJ gig at Crazy Go Nuts University’s Clark Hall Pub. When you’re done going through BuzzFeed’s 38 Great Alt-Rock Songs You Haven’t Thought About in 20 Years, go through this list! This one’s a little heavier on the Canadian content.

Soho: Hippychick

I’m actually surprised more songs didn’t use Smiths samples.

Bootsauce: Masterstroke

Montreal-based Bootsauce were wonderful, and yet so underappreciated.

Shamen: Move Any Mountain

Rob Bolton, a.k.a. DJ Ozone, this one’s for you!

Primus: Tommy the Cat

Long before the did the South Park theme, Primus were kicking out some very odd tunes. It’s kind of hard to believe they opened for U2. This one’s for Terry.

The Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy: Television: Drug of the Nation

Michael Franti would eventually form Spearhead. This one goes out to Colonel Brad!

KMFDM: Godlike

AWWW YISSS. One of my signature DJ tunes at Clark Hall Pub. Somehow, I conned Queen’s engineers into becoming industrial music fans.

KMFDM: Virus

Gotta love KMFDM.

They Might Be Giants: Birdhouse in Your Soul

This one always filled the dance floor.

Right Said Fred: I’m Too Sexy

This song has deep personal meaning for me. Here’s the English version…

…and here’s the version they did in (poorly translated) Spanish:

Del Tha Funkee Homosapien: Mistadobalina

This one’s for Stacy Dillon, who always requested it.

Black Sheep: The Choice is Yours

“Engine, engine number nine, on the New York subway line…”

Smashing Pumpkins: Rhinoceros

This one’s off Gish, a beautiful album from start to finish.

Me Mom and Morgenthaler: Laura

Also from Montreal, and a great (and once again, underappreciated) ska act.

Killing Joke: Millennium

After years on hiatus, Killing Joke came back — and sounding like the bands who cite them as an influence.

Nirvana: On a Plain

It’s not an early 1990s Clark Hall Pub list without a Nirvana song! Here’s one that deserved more play.

Spirit of the West: Home for a Rest

Often the last song of the night, this one got everyone going.

Ministry: Jesus Built My Hotrod

This isn’t a dance floor. It’s a mosh pit! This one’s the “Redline/Whiteline” version, a.k.a. The One True Version of this song.

Prong: Snap Your Fingers, Snap Your Neck

I still play this every now and again. It’s good “get chores done” music.

The Pixies: U-Mass

Our band, Volume, covered this one — and quite nicely, I think.

The Breeders: Cannonball

Kim Deal before her downward spiral.

The Cult: The Witch

Another track that our band, Volume, covered.

House of Pain: Jump Around

We cared about only two of their songs, but what songs they were.

Messiah: Temple of Dreams

This one’s for Anne Yourt, who loved this song.

Ned’s Atomic Dustbin: Kill Your Television

This one’s for George.

Charlatans UK: The Only One I Know

The 1991 track that help kickstart the “Madchester” sound.

Blur: There’s No Other Way and Girls and Boys

And now, some pre-Song 2 Blur.

Ween: Push Th’ Little Daisies

I’ll close with the song that best sums up my academic career.

It won’t quite hit 35 degrees (Celsius; that’s 95 degrees Fahrenheit) in Tampa today — the expected high is a mere 32°C/90°F — but that’s no excuse not to post this classic Kids in the Hall sketch titled 35 Degrees in Tampa:

I also think that Bruce McCulloch’s character is wrong and that there’s potential in “Soup in a Bag”.

First, let me say that I’m both surprised and delighted by the existence of a place called “The Venture Compound” here in Accordion Bay (if you’re a Venture Brothers fan, you’re probably delighted too). From what I can tell, it’s equal parts concert venue, art gallery, and gathering place for people from my home planet. I’m going to have to make a trek out there sometime soon.

I can’t make it tonight, but if you’re in striking distance of St. Petersburg, you might want to check out tonight’s event at the Venture Compound: the Florida premiere screening of the so-B-movie-it-hurts film Samurai Terror, complete with a Q&A with its director, G. R. Parker. It’s about a boy, a girl, and a 600-year-old zombie killer samurai:

The Samurai mayhem starts tonight at 9:00 p.m. at The Venture Compound, located at 2621 Fairfield Avenue South in St. Petersburg. Suggested donation for admittance is a mere five bucks.

Shot from a quadcopter by Tampa-based Ben Bradley of Right Hand Films, this video shows downtown Tampa from angles most of us never see. Featured in the video are Hillsborough River, Curtis Hixon Park, the Tampa Museum of Art, and Rivergate Tower — a.k.a. the Sykes Building and the Beer Can — which looks surprisingly good in the video (it looks like a bureaucratic building from a low-budget sci-fi dystopian movie).

I may have to try my own low-budget version of this sort of filming. I’ve been thinking about using a kite and an old, lightweight videocamera that I wouldn’t mind losing — my 2010-era Microsoft-issued Mino Flip HD might do the trick.

You might also want to look at these excerpts from a promotional video that he shot, which is made up of some lovely shots of Tampa Convention Center and the nearby Embassy Suites building.

Found via Dive In Tampa Bay.