It’s cheesy pirate double entendre time! Arr! Who wants to get “blown ashore”?
Avast, mateys, accordin’ to Dave Barry, this be “Talk Like a Pirate Day“!
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Author: Joey deVilla
Cory Doctorow’s upcoming book, Down and Out in the Magic Kingdom is now available for pre-order from Amazon. Down and Out has got the Cory flava all over it, what with Disneyland, reputation systems and transhumanity figuring into the story. You can get a taste of it here and pre-order it here.
To get a little more Cory flava, check out 0wnz0red or the fiction samples on his personal site.
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Tonight’s events
It’s a busy night in Accordion City, what with:
The official naming of my house. Okay, so it’s not really a major event to people other than me, Paul or Kenji. But hey, it’s my blog, dammit!
The new name of the house is Big Trouble in Little China. It’s happily tucked into a nice pocket neighbourhood inside the Spadina Chinatown (in Accordion City, there are three Chinatowns, baby!) and there’s always some kind of trouble cooking at my house.
The Thirsty People of Toronto meeting. The TPT, as we like to call it, are an organization devoted to regularly gathering at Accordion Cuty’s fine drinking establishments and creating a whole mess of mayhem. Here’s an excerpt from the charter:
We, members of the TPT, being of sound mind and good faith, recognize the mission put unto us by our Lord Jebus the creator, and his agents of goodwill towards human kind, Hops, Malt, Barely, Oats and Corn, Juniper, Sugar cane, and Grapes.
We hold the following beliefs as being self evident, and central to humanity.
IT IS WRONG
- to be sober and orderly.
- to assume.
- to let any form of drinking to get in the way of work or professional duties.
- to let any form of work or professional responsibilities get in the way of drinking.
- to go home at a reasonable hour.
- to be responsible while consuming a beverage.
- to drink alone, unless absolutely necessary.
- to pooh-pooh any board game brought by a TPT member.
- to pay more than $8 (Canadian) for a drink in a beverage establishment (does not include pitchers or doubles).
- to expect minutes to be taken at meetings.
- to diss any other member of the TPT for any acts that may occur when beverages are ingested.
- to berate, mock, or poke fun at another member’s hat, no matter how silly.
- to berate, mock, or poke fun at another member’s fashion crimes, no matter how hideous, unless seconded by another member.
- to stiff other members with a bar tab.
- to not harass law enforcement when leaving a beverage establishment.
- to take the name of Jebus, our Lord, in vain.
- to write charters, or anything even semi-important, while consuming beverages.
- to perform stupid beverage tricks unless specifically requested.
- to allow strange stalking types to become members.
- to scream “I am the shiznitz of Dublin!” while sober.
- to arrive dead.
- to order Laker beer.
- to piss off bar staff by ordering overly complex, extremely girly, or annoying to make drinks
- to respect your elders.
- to miss a TPT meeting (excluding your own death).
Tonight’s meeting takes place at Tortilla Flats, which is at Queen and Spadina, crawling distance from Big Trouble in Little China.
Kick Ass Karaoke at the Bovine Sex Club. The best damned karaoke night in town takes place once a month, and tonight’s the night! This is not your father’s Karaoke, unless your dad is Ozzy Osbourne.
Ladies and gentlemen, your host, Mr. Carson T. Foster.
Kick Ass links:
- The Kick Ass Karaoke page
- The list of available songs
- The Kick Ass Karaoke FAQ
- The CBC Radio piece on Kick Ass Karaoke (QuickTime required)
- Photo essay from the August 2002 Kick Ass Karaoke
- Photo essay from the July 2002 Kick Ass Karaoke
- Photo essay from the June 2002 Kick Ass Karaoke
- The Geeks Night Out at Kick Ass Karaoke, November 2001
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Now more RSS-a-riffic than ever
If you read weblogs with news aggregators like AmphetaDesk or Pineapple, you’ll be pleased to learn that I’ve changed my Blogger settings so that the entire posting now appears in the “description” field. Check it out.
If the previous paragraph means nothing to you, worry not. It’s geeky stuff.
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It’s been a busy Tuesday….
…so I haven’t had time to make today’s blog entry. I’ll try to get it in later tonight — a report from the Toronto Vegetarian Fair and from last night’s performance at the Free Times Cafe.
In the meantime, how ’bout a picture from the supermarket?
Go Leafs Go. It must’ve been a slow day in the stockroom at Loblaws.
Bryce “Zooko” Wilcox-O’Hearn, Irby and my copy of Steve Holden’s Python Web Programming.
Here’s Paul’s cake with the candles lit.
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God is a Republican
Among the many qualities about Americans that I love — their “can-do” attitude, their energy, their amazing junk food — is their gift for self-parody. The latest example of this is this item that’s up for sale on eBay: a poster of Dubya made up of a mosaic of classic paintings of Jesus!
A full view of the poster.
Detail view.
An excerpt from the description for this lovely collector’s item:
At last, we have a Christian President. George W. Bush is restoring dignity, honor and Christian morality to the highest office in the land. He is not afraid to “let his light shine before men.”
Truly a man for our times, he has set high standards of personal conduct and shows the greatest respect for his position as our leader. As such, we believe he is a national role model.
To honor the “1st office” in the land, and the man who is fulfilling his duties in that office so well, JesusMosaics has produced this “special edition” print.
“Our Christian President” is a pictorial representation of the ultimate goal of every Christian. That is, that when men look at us, they will “see Jesus.” Jesus in our words, Jesus in our conduct, Jesus in the love we have for one another. Pres. George W. Bush is striving to fulfill that goal while serving all of us in the “toughest job in the country.”
My only response is: Jesus!
I’m tough on Buddhists who practice religion-as-fashion (as I’ve written here), but I’m equally tough on people who wear Jesus as if He were a shiny Rolex. This is an example of a bad American quality — the tendency to “buy” esteem, whether it be with money or by association, rather than earn it by their deeds. Often, when politicians cite the Big G, they’re simply using some choice quotes from the Bible to back up whatever policy they’re promoting or law they’re trying to get passed. They use religion the way drunks use lampposts — for support, not illumination*.
So-called Christians who play the Jesus trump card would do well to remember Matthew chapter 6, verse 5:
And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full.
School ’em suckas proper, Jeebus!
(Props to BoingBoing for the link.)
Footnote
* My own twist on a Mark Twain quote about statistics.