Not only do I have the number one Google entry for “stagette”, I also have the number one entry for “breast scarves”. There’s nothing like a link from the Reverse Cowgirl to get a lot of attention. Thanks, Ms. Cowgirl!
I’ve received a fair number of emails asking where these scarves can be bought. I’ve sent email to the friend who sent me the pictures, and hopefully I’ll hear back soon.
Just in case you hadn’t noticed, my other more tech-oriented blog, The Happiest Geek on Earth, is back on active duty.
This is just another reminder to nominate The Adventures of AccordionGuy in the 21st Century for the Third Annual Weblog Awards.
C’mon, folks, haven’t I been really entertaining and informative? Has any other blog given you this in 2002?:
And I did it all for you.
So please…won’t you nominate me? Perhaps for Best Canadian Weblog, Most Humorous Weblog, Best-Kept-Secret Weblog or dare I even dream…(cue Dr. Evil awed voice) Weblog of the Year?
Remember, folks, if I get into the running, I will run a story I’ve been holding back for just such an occasion: my worst dates ever! Worthy of at least one FOX movie of the week, I tell you!
Do me this favour, willya? You know I’ll give back twice the love I get.
This weekend, as part of a housemate-bonding experience, I participated in…
…in…
Oh crap, it’s just too embarassing.
Oh yeah, I have no shame. Never mind.
Anyhow, it was a…sigh…Dungeons and Dragons game.
I can’t remember which one of my housemates suggested the game, but if it’s a way to get Kenji to participate more in house stuff, why not? Prior to living here, he lived in shared-accomodation arrangements where he was just occupying a room and paying rent. We don’t do that here in Big Trouble in Little China; I prefer a more family-like setting rather than being people who’ve just grouped under one roof to cut down expenses. So D&D it was.
D&D has undergone some changes since last I played it, and I’m not talking about the rules of the game. I’m talking about the demographic fo the players. In my day, it was strictly the province of the boys from the AV squad and computer room at school; these days, people from grade school to senior citizens play it, and a surprising number of women do. My ex-girlfriend, among them, and she wasn’t your stereotypical geek girl. At a party held by my hippie-chick friend Margaret, a number of comely twenty-something women were discussing their characters, and I think Paul was getting aroused by the conversation. I guess it shouldn’t come off as too surprising — just take a look at the Silver Snail, Toronto’s premier comic book store (and falling distance from my house) and you’ll find a healthy number of women among the customers.
But enough justification. This was full-on geek central.
The original plan was for the house crew — me, Kenji and Paul — and a couple of Kenji’s friends to play, with Paul as DM, but as soon as Chris and Rob — heard, they wanted in. Rob ended up not being able to make it, but Chris showed, with a bag full of D&D dice.
“They have 30-sided dice now?” I said, marveling at his green crystal plastic polyhedron. Damn, I’ve been seriously Rip van Winkled.
Kenji’s friends Will and Simon brought their own dice too. Simon brought his copy of the Player’s Handbook, third edition. Paul owns the core set of books, the Dungeon Master’s Guide, Player’s Handbook and Monster Manual. All third edition, with a number of siginificant changes to the rules since my days of the first edition.
I pulled out my original copy of the Dungeon Master’s Guide, first edition, its cover showing the cheesily painted demon battling the hapless adventure party. “This is the real shit, yo!” I told them. “Old school, boyeeeee!”
Kenji played a fighter/rogue (a “rogue” is what a “thief” is now called), Simon and Will were rangers, Chris was a wizard, and I played a cleric named Gregor Samsa. If any of them got the Kafka reference, they didn’t say anything. Illiterate barabrians. I tried to use my Jesus figure (“with gliding action!”) as a game token, but he was a bit too big. I ended up using a button that read “Overthrow the DJ”.
The party ended up being robbed by a highwayman, mind-controlled by a high-level wizard, and nearly killed off twice by some pretty well-armed gnolls. Gregor Samsa did a lot of ass-kicking and ass-saving — he’s the padre who’s one bad madre. We’d have had an easier time if some of us — no names — hadn’t decided to run off in the other direction, thinking “I can take these guys myself!” Kenji’s character always got critically wounded in the first round of battle; a lot of the time we’d tease him by asking if he could do something a little more useful than just lie there and bleed. At the end of the session, the party barely survived, but netted enough experience to go up to the next level. Eat your heart out, Frodo Baggins!
I think I can live with the stigma of playing this infernal game every now and again. After all, what’s the worst that can happen?
The scene: Cumberland cinemas, waiting for The Two Towers to come on. Two guys in their mid- to late twenties are talking in the row behind me.
Guy behind me number 1: I read somewhere that Peter Jackson chaged more stuff in the Two Towers than he did in Fellowship.
Guy behind me number 2: I wouldn’t know, I never read the books. I’m not really big on reading.
Guy behind me number 1: No?
Guy behind me number 2: When I come from from work, I don’t want to have to work to be entertained. I want to relax. Reading’s just too much work.
Guy behind me number 1: Maybe you just haven’t found the kind of book you’d like to read.
Guy behind me number 2: Yeah, maybe. I do feel guilty about not reading. Maybe after the movie, we should drop by the Indigo downstairs.
Guy behind me number 1: Let’s not go to Indigo. I’m boycotting it because Heather Reisman’s a total book censor. She refuses to stock Mein Kampf.
Guy behind me number 2: Never heard of it. What’s it about?
It took a lot of willpower not to burst out laughing at that point.
The scene: The subway. Bloor line, going westbound. Two girls, perhaps around 13 or 14, talking.
Girl 1: Frodo and Sam are cute.
Girl 2: Uh…who were they again?
Girl 1: You were there, watching the movie right beside me! They were the two hobbits. They had the ring.
Girl 2: I can’t remember anyone’s names in the movie. You like them?
Girl 1: I could marry either one. Maybe both.
Girl 2: Ewwwwwwwwwwww.
Girl 1: Who do you like?
Girl 2: The guy with the long blond hair. He’s a hottie.
Girl 1: Legolas.
Girl 2: His name’s not so hot though. Sounds like Legos.
Girl 1 (rolling her eyes, sighing): Umm, okay. Do you remember the name of the dwarf?
Girl 2: Uh….
Girl 1: It’s Gimli! You have to know this stuff! Don’t you want to be popular?
During my time at high school, any kind of Tolkien knowledge would’ve put you squarely in the unpopular crowd.
It’s quite possible that I’m the same age as his mom, but I’m still more inclined to think along the same lines as Wigu.
It’s time for the 2003 Weblog Awards — and I’d like you to nominate me! Either for “Best Canadian Weblog” (which fellow GTABlogger Natalie won last year) or “Best Kept Secret” (a category for all blogs that aren’t in Blogdex’s top 200. I’m still a B-lister at this point, so I think I count).
Hell, nominate me for Weblog of the Year. If a man’s reach does not exceed his grasp, what’s an accordion for?
If nominated, I will run the story (with names changed to protect the innocent, and yes, I have permission) of the two most trying dates I’ve ever gone on. If not, I’ll keep those stories under wraps. Is that enough motivation?
