Author: Joey deVilla

Cancel that chocolate alert

It turns out that the protein bars already have bilingual labels and are not getting stopped at the border. The Atkins Peanut Butter and Choclate Hoarder I mentioned in the previous post had just bought out my store’s supply, but Karen the manager told me that more was on the way. The Hoarder and his wife, it turns out, have a fondness for Resse’s Preanut Butter Cups, and the Atkins bars are a very-close-in-taste, lower-carb, no sugar, no-trans-fats substitute. I guess I should pull the pins out of the voodoo doll.

Contradictory reports

FARK listed these two Atkins-related stories, one after the other for humourous effect:

• New study reveals Atkins diet is better than lowfat diet
• New study reveals Atkins diet is not better than lowfat diet

Sometimes you never know what to believe.

As far as I’m concerned, it works — at least it did for me. Keep in mind that your mileage may vary and this is a small sample size, but other blog writers out there have lost at least 25 pounds in their first three months on the Atkins meal plan/diet/lifestyle eating methodology: Cory Doctorow, Doc Searls and Oliver Willis are a few whom I can name off the top of my head.

It would seem that only some Atkins products lack bilingual labels. See this entry.

Here in Canada, there’s a law that says that the packaging on products must be in both official languages, English and French. That’s why Marlboro cigarettes aren’t available except through bootleggers — they refuse to spend the extra money in order to make a run of Canada-friendly packagaing.

This is bad news for low-carb snackers in Canada. Companies like Keto and Atkins (yes, as in Dr. Atkins, who I still think was offed by the grain and sugar lobby, whom I refer to as Big Carbohydrates) are still small speciality companies and haven’t gotten around to making bilingual labels for the Canadian market. After a few months of availability in health food stores here in Accordion City, these products are now getting turned back at the border until their packaging becomes compliant. Atkins products will be available in bilingual packaging — in September. Whatever stock is currently in the stores is all that there will be for the rest of the summer.

Time to stockpile the Ketch-A-Tomato®!

Some jackass has already bought up the entire stock of Atkins chocolate and peanut butter protein bars from the health food store closest to my house. That good-for-nothing greedy pig-dog! Those were my favourite!

Luckily for those of us who still like a low-carb chocolate fix, the best of the bars — the Odyssey, which tastes like a Snickers bar and has none of the chalky taste normally associated with protein bars — comes in a bilingual wrapper.

Recommended reading

Are the new low- and no-carb breads, beers, and sweets any good? Slate reviews some low- and controlled-carb products.

Two studies vindicate the Atkins diet — but does the weight loss last? An Associated Press story says that the weight loss does happen, but it doesn’t look like the results last. It is supposed to be a lifetime thing, people…

Atkins diet is more effective and healthier than rival regimes, say medical researchers. From The Independent. The story also mentions that Jennifer Aniston and Courtney Cox Arquette are Atkins-ites.

“I’m happy to be out of my Gap clothes and back in my old Armanis, which in the interval became vintage Armanis.” — a quote by Jill Krementz, photographer and wife of author Kurt Vonnegut, who has lost nearly 40 pounds on the Atkins diet.

In all the confusion and aftermath of having a handful of clients for whom I’m doing programming work and the whole Girl Who Cried Webmaster/Blogs Save Lives incident, I almost forgot that I was only beginning to write about the Worst Dates Ever. I was reminded of this by the way the blog See The Donkey links to me — it uses part one of the story as an example of the writing here on The Adventures of AccordionGuy in the 21st Century.

Not only that, I missed the 4-year anniversary of said disaster. I should come up with some kind of commemorative cocktail.

Anyway, I’m working on the rest of the story in between work and play. Expect it soon.

While it’s always been possible to check out who links to me by combing over the logs recorded by my Web server, I’m glad that services like Technorati exist. They do all the dirty work of seeing who links to whom, and it’s a great way to discover new blogs you’d otherwise miss. Every day, I use Technorati to see which blogs are currently linking to me as well as the context in which they are doing so.

One such blog — with which I was unfamiliar until today — is See The Donkey, a blog owned by one Lee Zanello, a Canadian currently teaching English in Osaka.

(I have a very special relationship with Osaka, Kyoto and southwestern Japan. Kansai International Airport, which is in the area, is my traditional stop-over airport for my trips to Manila. My visit there, almost five years ago, marks the beginning of a period where my life got incredibly interesting after a couple of years’ worth of doldrums and has stayed that way. I may have to write about it sometime.)

According to See The Donkey the Symantec Web Security software behind which Lee surfs at the office refuses to allow this blog to be seen. Instead, it displays this little message:

This page will not be displayed because it contains prohibited words or it has exceeded its tolerance of questionable words.

What the fuck?!

(Oh c’mon, you knew I was going to say something like that, and I’m sure you still smirked.)

Yes, I do swear on the blog from time to time, but only when appropriate; sometimes it’s necessary when quoting someone, and other times, a swear word is le seul mot juste. That being said, I also feel that if you overdo it, either in your speaking or your writing, you’re simply admitting to the world that you’re an inarticulate boor following the path of least resistance in Anglo-Saxon word patterns. I don’t mind if people swear, but I do worry that many of my friends seem incapable of switching to a more polite mode when necessary.

(It’s true about swearing being the path of least resistance: someone once wrote a program that created random three- and four-letter words, with the probability of letters appearing being set equal to the frequency of their use in the English language. The “seven words you couldn’t say on TV” came up a lot.)

C’mon, Symantec, am I really that potty-mouthed? Is this some kind of payback for the time I told a room a Java developers that Symantec Visual Cafe was not software to be tossed aside lightly, but hurled away with great force?

Poopyheads.

The old Infocom text adventure game The Hitchhiker’s Guide to Galaxy has been converted into a Java applet and put online!

The only downside is that since it’s a Java applet, you can’t save and restore as you play. Whenever you lose the game, you have to start at the beginning. There will be versions that run under Windows and Mac released soon, but they’re not available yet.

(I remember having a helluva time trying to figure out how to get off the Heart of Gold.)

[Thanks to Starjewel for pointing this one out.]

A couple of weeks ago, my trusty Olympus D-320L digital camera met an unfortunate end. It was sitting on a table when the long clothing of someone rushing past brushed against it and swept it off. The guy was moving pretty quickly and the table was on a platform; as a result it flew across 15 feet of room, bounced off a staircase and then landed seven fee below with a very loud smack, turning its insides into a mishmash of small broken electronic parts.

The camera was due for replacement anyway. I bought it in 1988, when one-megapixel cameras were cutting edge. The standard resolution of the camera was 640 by 480, the largest SmartMedia card it could take was 8MB, and it had no zoom. However, it was a tough little beast, took wonderful pictures in all manner of conditions and has been to one trip to Europe, two trips to Asia, a week at Burning Man and several jaunts across the United States and Canada. All told, I took about 10,000 pictures with that camera, all of which have been dutifully archived on CD-ROM.

I’m shopping around for a new one and would appreciate any advice. I’m looking for a camera in the CDN$800-or-less price range (that’s US$500-or-less). While picture quality is important to me — the D-320 took amazing pictures for a camera in its class — I’d prefer a ready-to-go-on-adventures camera that took decent pictures over a bulky, don’t-jostle-it-too-much camera that took amazing photos. This camera is more likely to take photos at beer-sodden nights in Toronto or Prague, bacchanalian revelry in Black Rock Desert and pictures of my nephews rather than Pulitzer Prize-winning photos of politicians or shots that will end up in coffee table books. Optical zoom would be nice too. Let me know in the comments.

Double the karaoke goodness, double the fun

Kickass Karaoke, the best karaoke night in Accordion City, takes place twice this week:

• Tomorrow (Wednesday, May 21st) at the Bovine Sex Club (542 Queen Street West, half a block east of Bathurst)
• Sunday. May 25th at the Rivoli (332 Queen Street West, half a block east of Spadina).

As always, the events are hosted by the Grandmaster of Karaoke himself, Mr. Carson T. Foster.

Some little tidbits of Kickass Karaoke:

• The CityTV piece on Kickass Karaoke (including a short bit of me doing Born to be Wild on accordion). QuickTime required.
• April 2003
• August 2002
• July 2002
• June 2002
• March 2002
• November 2001

In related news: Melisma, or “I will always love you-u-u-u-u-u-u-u…”

While we’re on the topic of singing, you might want to check out this New York Times story on a certain style of vocalisation that’s getting overused by the contestants on American Idol: melisma…

The cover of the new CD “American Idol Season 2: All-Time Classic American Love Songs” features grinning head shots of 11 of the television talent show’s 12 finalists — an attractive, amiable-looking group that could be a high school glee club. Don’t be fooled. Competitive karaoke is not for the fainthearted; “American Idol” contestants do not sing songs so much as attack them. In nearly every verse of every number on “All-Time Classic American Love Songs,” the young singers pursue a strategy of violent Mariah Carey emulation. Their credo is clear: never hesitate to warble seven notes where one would suffice.