”Could You Make Elton Happy?”

This one goes out to those of you who were old enough to read and grok pop culture back in the 1970’s. The cover stories on this September 1976 edition of Teen Beat — I was 8 at the time — are pure unintentional comedy gold:

Cover of the September 1976 edition of 'Teen Beat'.

I have trouble believing what sort of “love talk” advice a teenaged Marie Osmond could give, and Jan-Michael Vincent was off my cultural radar until the 1980s with Airwolf.

The kicker on this cover is the “Could You Make Elton Happy? We Have His Surprising Answer!” story. I doubt that Teen Beat provided the honest answer (which, for a teen publication in 1976, would be pretty surprising), judging by the magazine’s target demographic.

3 replies on “”Could You Make Elton Happy?””

Do you have a copy of it, or just the picture of the cover? I wonder about “Paul and Linda spread their wings”.

And Goldie’s baby was Kate Hudson?

Sorry, Maria, I’ve only got this photo of the cover.

The “Paul and Linda spread their Wings” song may be about their touring or their collaboration on Wings at the Speed of Sound (in 1976, Silly Love Songs was a big hit).

And yes, Kate Hudson is Goldie’s baby.

Following Marie Osmond’s “Love Talk” advice was, I believe, a seminal step in my development into the caring and sensitive man I am today…

September 1976… by the end of that year I’d discovered my friends older brothers Karftwerk, Pink Floyd and Alan Parsons project Albums… ’77 was a transitional blurr; top 50 10CCs, slow dancin’ at teen dances to ‘Shanon’ … ’78 we came across the Talking Heads, DEVO played SNL, Rock Video started airing on Late Night TV stations from Rochester… bought a pack a smokes, threw out the Howwick widelegs gave up liftin’ and workin’ on that California tan and began to revel in my skinny-ness 🙂

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