But they make such nice commericals!

You can’t make up headlines like this: Mormons Again Promise To Stop Baptizing Dead Jews:

SALT LAKE CITY — The Mormon church is again promising to stop posthumously baptizing Jews.

Leaders from both faiths say an agreement made seven years ago has apparently been broken. At a meeting Wednesday in New York City, the church reaffirmed its commitment to removing Holocaust victims and other deceased Jews from its International Genealogical Index.

That’s a list of about 600 million names Mormons use to perform ceremonies baptizing the dead into the faith. It’s meant to offer salvation to the ancestors of Mormons, but many others are included.

An independent researcher said those baptized posthumously include Anne Frank, Genghis Khan, Joan of Arc, Adolf Hitler and Buddha.

The founder of the Simon Wiesenthal Center said the Mormons are not “the exclusive arbitrators of who is saved.”

Even if the dead are from your own faith, doesn’t it seem too little, too late? Haven’t they already been judged and processed? It’s like showing up at the pizza place weeks after you bought the pepperoni deluxe and saying “May I have some money back? I brought a coupon.”

Perhaps Anne Frank would’ve appreciated the gesture.

As for the others, they’re not even Jewish. I don’t think Buddha would’ve minded. I’m trying to imagine ol’ Genghis saying “Please, call me Elder Khan now.” (I’d like to see William Shatner do ol’ Genghis’ baptism: KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!)

But really, my Latter-Day Saints pals, Hitler?

Speaking of Anne Frank, a little Google-work revealed to me that the famous story about Pia Zadora’s terrible performance in the title role of a stage production of The Diary of Anne Frank isn’t true.

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