Gummi Lighthouses: When Candy Design Goes Terribly, Hilariously Wrong [Updated]

by Joey deVilla on June 11, 2008

Gummi lighthouses
Photo courtesy of Ryland (who has the best sign generator site) and Miss Fipi Lele.

Update: Even more wrong — Hannah Montana Gummi Guitars. What were they thinking?

{ 65 comments… read them below or add one }

Gianni Chiappetta June 11, 2008 at 8:42 pm

Don’t eat too many, you’ll have to get your stomach pumped.

Stella June 11, 2008 at 8:44 pm

Oh my!

Imagining handing those out for Halloween!

JmactheAttack June 11, 2008 at 9:03 pm

They should of just stuck with gummy bears…

bnpositive June 11, 2008 at 11:41 pm

Oh man that’s a riot! So if you handle them too much does it turn into a Jolly Rancher?

Richard June 12, 2008 at 2:09 am

You have to wonder how nobody at Mill Farm stopped and said, “hang on a minute…” Unless it’s all one big sick joke?

tris June 12, 2008 at 5:05 am

mill farm bukkake

urlnotfound June 12, 2008 at 11:29 am

[this is good]

K@ June 12, 2008 at 3:34 pm
WEIRDO! June 12, 2008 at 6:26 pm

Those are absolutely fantastic. I’d love to eat some Gummi lighthouses.

CCP June 12, 2008 at 8:08 pm

Horribly wrong… or horribly right?

B.C. June 12, 2008 at 9:09 pm

Perhaps the manufacturer’s name is really MILF Arm®?

Darth Bacon June 12, 2008 at 9:10 pm

I understand those gummi Georgia O’Keefe miniatures didn’t go over too well, either.

web design company June 12, 2008 at 9:27 pm

Those would look awesome on my G.I. Joes…

HunnyBunny June 12, 2008 at 10:42 pm

Hey just wanna let all you guys and gals know that I work for the Christmas Tree Shops and I see these penises everyday. Might I add they taste really good.

dark-suki June 12, 2008 at 11:21 pm

this…is THE gayest idea ever lmao!who makes gummi lighthouses? i mean..wth man

Spitt June 12, 2008 at 11:47 pm

MMMmmmmmm Gummi Lighthouses. Is that light coming out of the top of the lighthouse? I bet those are delicious to put in your mouth! Do they melt in your mouth?

jocool June 13, 2008 at 12:07 am


Wheresthecheese? June 13, 2008 at 12:46 am

*Coming* to a “Freudies” candy store near you….

austinite June 13, 2008 at 10:22 am

Future offerings include Gummi Mountain Range (with just 2 peaks), Gummi Peach, Gummi Lips…

And their ad tagline is “What?”

Zatoichi June 13, 2008 at 11:28 am

Something tells me the next line; will have a juicy center that explodes when you bite to hard

Liz June 13, 2008 at 12:29 pm

I’ve heard the recommendation “Eat a bag of dicks” before, but never so literally.

Mary Beth June 13, 2008 at 1:15 pm

Comes in different flavors.

Austin -double-O-six June 13, 2008 at 2:26 pm

So? Whats the punch line ?

I dont get it ??

Whats wrong with a candy light house ?

ObamaGrrl June 13, 2008 at 2:58 pm

Made me gag! (Spit, not swallow…)

Brandon June 13, 2008 at 3:51 pm

Is that a lighthouse in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?

Lady Reason June 13, 2008 at 9:28 pm

I’m sure this is one of those things where the underling saw what the gummy implied when it popped out of the mold, but sent it right down on the conveyor belt thinking “Eh, no one will notice.”

Lynda P. Costello June 13, 2008 at 10:48 pm

Doesn’t look like a light house to me!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lynda C.

pyroy June 14, 2008 at 5:01 am

I’m mainly concerned with how many bags it would take to fill an average soup bowl? I know a few people who deserve such a gift.

JAB_au June 14, 2008 at 8:50 am

You would think they would get people to look carefully at the design wouldn’t you.

twohusbands June 14, 2008 at 2:46 pm

Make gr8 suppositories too?

chubb June 14, 2008 at 6:37 pm

I wonder is they will come out with the chocolate one next? Blondes love dark lighthouses.

turf June 15, 2008 at 7:53 am

Don’t handle them too much; you might get gummi all over yourself.

LynX June 15, 2008 at 1:22 pm

LLLLOOOLLL, very funny omg

Vincent June 15, 2008 at 4:56 pm

Penis = Lingham = ‘wand of light’. Around and around it goes!

Manic Mommy June 15, 2008 at 5:24 pm

A friend of mine runs a daycare with the word Lighthouse in the title–I think she should start handing these out to prospective clients!

Will June 15, 2008 at 8:21 pm

I hate it when people try to explain the joke.

boombastic June 16, 2008 at 12:34 am

they look like little weenies!

Such a Bastard June 16, 2008 at 11:19 am

Look at all that foreskin pulled down around the head! You know, I was the model for that!

norseman June 17, 2008 at 4:09 pm

There’s another double entendre for Scandinavians, as “gummi” means “rubber”. You know, the colloquialism for a prophylactic sheath.

Kate June 17, 2008 at 9:15 pm

They leave you moist in the mouth.

Dude June 22, 2008 at 6:56 pm


Coos June 23, 2008 at 3:25 pm

Check out the sweets from the dutch manufacturer Yamina:

Bree June 24, 2008 at 1:40 pm

I’m gonna have to buy a couple bags and send to a few choice people.

MrMagic June 25, 2008 at 9:56 pm

Who wouldn’t want to eat a back of gummi #!%&?

Jax June 29, 2008 at 2:26 pm

Where can I buy these!!??

Funny Song Parodies July 2, 2008 at 8:30 am

Man. who came up with this? very funny. i would try them. hahaha

Johnny Come Lately July 3, 2008 at 2:24 pm

A delicious snack that is high in protein!

Jeffrey July 3, 2008 at 7:43 pm

I am waiting for the Gummi clam.

Mr. Tabo July 4, 2008 at 2:19 am

This is vulgarianism. I am reporting you to snopes.

mike July 4, 2008 at 9:30 am

Calling them gummi penises would have been, well, just too overt I suppose

DBJ July 6, 2008 at 1:30 pm

Good thing those aren’t hard candies…

Paul Delaney July 7, 2008 at 5:40 pm

How can I get some of the gummi lighthouses ? I live in Texas & Christmas Tree Shops wont ship. Need for a sister in law in WI who said she’d trqde me some “Nude Beach Beer” (made by Point Brewery in Stevens Point, WI)

spam July 9, 2008 at 4:28 pm

my dad forwards the most useless wastes of time; …..and little else in the way of anything personal unless…he’s pissed. So here’s this crap now. Gee, how are you son how’s your life going?….NOPE. hey Dad, oblicatory fart joke! and with boobs! yippee! seriously i love u

Jolly Rauncha July 14, 2008 at 10:24 pm

Hey, are those lighthouses circumcised or what?

Scott McKissack August 13, 2008 at 3:26 pm

Hmm, instead of Dick in a Box, it’s Dick in a Bag

scott August 17, 2008 at 12:43 am

gee they look like light houses on there side or am i missing something 🙂

paul reeves October 8, 2008 at 4:40 am

Whats the fuss light houses save seamen.

Mark October 12, 2008 at 4:13 pm

Gee, just exactly my size!

Natalie December 7, 2008 at 4:04 am

“Gummi Lighthouses: When Candy Design Goes Terribly, Hilariously Wrong.” Or very right…

General Lighthouse McLoving February 24, 2009 at 12:54 am

Well I wish we got stuff like this in Texas, Wal-Mart should distribute these since nobody at Mill Farm or Christmas Tree Shops could see that they were making people pay 1.99 for a bag of colored dicks these would be what i bring to parties

Witty July 30, 2009 at 10:20 am

either that look like a penis or uzi

Shannon DeHaas September 7, 2010 at 10:14 pm

I live in Idaho. Where can I purchase the Lighthouse Gummi’s?

bob January 31, 2011 at 5:19 pm

“DBJ July 6, 2008 at 1:30 pm

Good thing those aren’t hard candies…”

strange thing is, when you suck on them they become hard candies…

Roxanna Benitez October 7, 2012 at 12:13 am

If you live in Texas you can buy Lighthouse Gummies at the Grapevine Mills Mall in Grapevine, TX. They sell them at the King of Sweets candy stand close to the Nike Factory Store.

Tim Bingham November 6, 2013 at 10:49 pm

Helping seamen everywhere!

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