Here’s a video promotion from 1993 by Boole and Babbage (supposedly “the first software company in Silicon Valley”, acquired by BMC Software in 1998) featuring Johnathan Frakes as Star Trek: The Next Generation’s Commander Riker. Boole and Babbage made “software to help corporations stitch together computer networks,” a rather messy prospect in those days before we standardized them around the internet protocols.
You don’t have to be a programmer or IT person to enjoy the nostalgic cheese on this video. It opens with a chaotic scene at an early ’90s airline logistics centre, where the reservations system has crashed. Harold, the only employee “with vision”, is contacted by Commander Riker through the monitor on his 386-based PC. Riker tells Harold that Mainview, Boole and Babbage’s network monitoring software, can solve him problem. After some quick technobabble that’s as vague and hand-wavey as any you’ve seen on Star Trek: The Next Generation, Mainview gives Harold the solution he needs: “Reroute through Cleveland” (which isn’t all that different from the standard deus ex machina on the show: reroute some energy through the ship’s main deflector).
I’m pretty impressed that Boole and Babbage were able to get Paramount to go along with letting them use Star Trek and the bridge set of the Enterprise for this promo. I’m less surprised that Frakes would sign up for the gig: over the years, he’ll appear on anything, no matter how cheesy.
There is one line near the end of the promo that rings true for techie today, even with our pocket-sized devices that run circles around the best desktops of that era and far, far better networks: “Doing more with less will be your constant challenge in the coming years”.
It would be easy to describe his as a fool’s errand. With the vague description that could easily describe a lot of the young women in Ireland; he’s facing much longer odds that the people trying to connect on Craigslist’s “Missed Connections”, such as this fella:
Oct/19 Friday night about 9:45pm or so…It was fun talking to you girls as you were driving on Queensway from Sobey’s to your strip joint. All of you were really cute I thought. But you had a male driver and he seemed pissed that you girls were talking to me. Like I told you when you asked, I am a single dad. I saw which strip club you went to, but I’d feel really dumb dressing up right now and going to a strip club to talk to you. So if this works, the one who was interested and asking if I was single will get in touch. If not – at least I have a story to tell :).
(Do those ads ever work, other than as entertainment for us bystanders?).
He doesn’t know this woman at all. The woman in his head is an idealized, romanticized one that he’s been dreaming up over the past year, based on a brief chance encounter and short conversation.
My heart goes out to this guy; if I ever run across him, I’d be happy to buy him a beer. Most of us, myself included, have had one or two of those times where we wish we’d said “Call me maybe” and didn’t, and would love a chance to fix that mistake. In fact, my current relationship with The Lady Friend is the direct result of trying to fix one of those mistakes.
Sandy may have been on a fool’s errand in the short term, but it might have been a wise move in the long term. He took charge of his own fate, he’s now in a situation where he can move on, and he’s most likely spared himself a lifetime of Maud Muller-style lamenting: “For of all sad words of tongue or pen / The saddest are these: “It might have been!” It was most likely a valuable journey, even if he didn’t “get the girl”.
He said the same thing less poetically, but it’s still worth repeating:
“You know what? You have to hold out hope in life, and it is just a situation where if you didn’t come and do it and see if you could find the girl, fifty years down the road you’d regret it. This is making sure that this isn’t something you didn’t do nothing about.”
He’s a decent-looking guy with a good outlook on life, and now he’s got a story to tell and a bit of a reputation for being a romantic. I can only wish him well.
This guy needs a hug. He sounds like Rob Ford’s hurt inner child on guitar.
On the positive side, he does a half-decent job channeling solo Paul Simon with his voice. On the minus side, I can’t help but be reminded of comedian Nato Green’s observation about the greatest failing of liberals: “We’d rather be smug than win”.
The Bouncy One
Imagine Randy Newman deciding to get a little more funky and then choosing to sing about Toronto instead of Los Angeles, and you have Len’s tribute to Accordion City. In 1999, Len put out a great gem of a summer single, Steal My Sunshine, and while I’m not sure they can top that, it’s nice to see that they’re still at it, with a new album titled It’s Easy If You Try. It’s also a better Toronto-promoting video than a lot of the stuff produced by the clowns at Toronto’s tourism department.
Sure, it’s easy to dismiss Len as a one-hit wonder. I prefer to call them a fun-hit wonder, and I’d be ecstatic if I ever put out a single like Steal My Sunshine, which holds a special place in my party and driving tunes playlists.
Crazy Len Close Encounter Fun Fact: One night when I first started playing accordion on the street (back around 2000), I was busking outside Amato’s Pizza on Queen West when Esthero walked by. She asked if I knew how to play Steal My Sunshine, and I responded by playing and singing the song’s chorus. She pulled out her mobile phone, made a call, pointed the phone at me and said, “Play it for Len,” and I did. I heard some great laughter on the other end of the line.
Joshua K. Pinney’s plan was a simple one — so simple that it was foolproof! With a another man’s stolen picture ID and the clever disguise pictured above, he would go to that man’s bank branch, request a new debit card, and then clean out his bank account. What could go wrong?
Here’s a quick slice of life from last night in Tampa, when the Lady Friend took me to a Bed Bath and Beyond. As usual, the most interesting stuff is in the “Beyond” section, where they’re getting a serious head-start on Hanukkah this year, and I do mean serious.
If you’re a “member of the tribe” who’s long wished for over-the-top yet cute holiday displays like the gentiles’, your prayers have been answered in the form of these Hanukkah bears and spinning dreidel display. It’s so cute that I’d get it, even though I lost my honourary membership in the divorce:
There are also a lot of baking kits for things like Hanukkah cupcakes and Star of David cake pops, but you’ll probably get the most use out of this latke server, which you can use any time of the year.
Here’s a video promotion from 1993 by Boole and Babbage (supposedly “the first software company in Silicon Valley”, acquired by BMC Software in 1998) featuring Johnathan Frakes as Star Trek: The Next Generation’s Commander Riker. Boole and Babbage made “software to help corporations stitch together computer networks,” a rather messy prospect in those days before we standardized them around the internet protocols.
