The Adventures of Accordion Guy in the 21st Century

I’m trying to find enough time to properly document everything that’s happened in the past couple of days, but I also have some clients for whom I must write software. Since they’re paying the rent and this blog isn’t, guess which one is getting short shrift for the time being. My apologies, Gentle Readers.

I’ve give you the quick version right now…

The MuchMusic Gig

I saw my MuchMusic performance the way most people saw it — on television — during the repeat performance last night at 11:00 p.m., my time zone (that’s Eastern Daylight Time, which for my friends outside North America is in the same time zone as New York City). Murphy’s Law would have it that my least favourite rendition of Sk8r Boi would be the one that ends up on TV. Singing flat, playing some chords that don’t exist outside of jazz or too many hits off the bong and tripping over lyrics, geez! Luckily, the audience was too in shock — Avril? On accordion?! — to notice.

My friend Richard, who works security at MuchMusic, said that VJ Rick liked the performance, and I got a nice thank-you email from VJ Jenn.

I would understand if Avril said “Smithers, have the Accordion Guy killed.” Actually, Avril, if you’re going to send thugs after me, may I recommend t.A.T.u? They could try to wrassle me to death in a vat of creamed corn. I’d put up a good fight.

Still, I kept my game face on, bounced around like a maniac, gave 110%, smiled all the way through and had the legal limit of fun. My thanks to MuchOnDemand VJs Jenn and Rick as well as producer Shelley for having me on the show, my thanks to the crew for welcoming me back as if I were a real rock star, and also to VJ Brad for coming over and saying hi!

(By the way, I think that I’m the Asian rocker who’s been given the most live airtime in the MuchMusic studio — well, at least after James Iha, formerly of The Smashing Pumpkins. I’m pretty sure I’m in the top 5. Asian rock stars, demand to get on!)

TV shoot number two

Hot on the heels of a live TV appearance, I spent this afternoon doing my segment for an episode of an upcoming TV series for the W Network called Living Romance. This particular episode is about serenading, and I’m the “wacky guy”.

They shot footage of me biking about town, wearing the flaming cowboy hat, accordion on my back. Then, a quick interview, followed by a performance. Then, they sent me to Queen Street West to try and pick up girls by serenading them. I was in top form, musically and with the one-liners. I even managed to rope in one or two! I’ll tell that story in more detail later.

Since they couldn’t afford to get the rights to any of the songs I usually cover, I had to write a song while other people were having their segments filmed. The tune’s good — I have complete faith in my ability to arrange chords and melodies — but the lyrics…well, I’ve heard worse:

(Chords for the verse are C-G-Bb-F)

You know, I live to see the smile on your face

No matter where you go you light up the place

You come near, my heart skips a beat, starts to race

You bring me back down to Earth from outer space

And…

(Key change! Chords for the chorus are D-C-G-D)

That’s why it’s no mystery

My head and my heart agree

You and me, we’re meant to be together

(some keyboard noodling goes here)

I also came up with this country-tonk ditty:

(This is a I-IV-V country tune that I did in E)

Maybe it’s true that I just love you too much

But that’s because I need you like a stickshift needs a clutch

Please understand me darlin’, I’m really not that strong

If you’re leaving me, can I come along?

Yeah, it’s totally goofball. Cory and his damned novelty tunes are rubbing off on me.

Lastly, here’s a punk number that the director thought was funny:

You may say I’m a liar

I swear that I’m not

But baby is it legal

For you to be that hot?

Okay, so it’s not Radiohead. I had to make this stuff up in a hurry!

…would be my own personal evaluation of the performance. Sk8r Boi is one that I can’t do “on autopilot”. It’s still a very new one for me, but why play if safe all the time? Anyhow, I misplaced one or two chords and flubbed a lyric, but all in all, it was a performance I’m proud of. I’m doing a writeup of what happened, and it’ll post the entry a little “l8r” tonight.

I forgot to set my VCR to tape the show, but it’s on again tonight at 11:00 p.m. Eastern. I’ll be watching it for the first time along with you. If you’re only interested in my segment, I’m on about 20 minutes in.

My thanks to everyone at MuchMusic and MuchOnDemand for having me on the show! Also, thanks to Diana, Helen, Debbie and Meryle for coming out to cheer me on!

My MuchMusic gig, in which I promote National Accordion Awareness Month on MuchOnDemand, is today! The live broadcast is at 5:00 p.m. Eastern, and they’ll repeat the show at 11:00 p.m. Eastern. Check your local listings, and all that jazz.

You’ll never hear Sk8r Boi quite the same way again!

May 1999

Barely two weeks after the first day out with the accordion, my friend Krazy Karl Mohr phoned me.

“Joey! Baby! How would you like to be on the radio?”

“I’d love to, Karl baby. What do I have to do?”

“You have to help me back up John Southworth on accordion, for his new song Veto Valvoline.”

“Rock!”

John’s one of Canada’s indie rock darlings and a British-accented and -mannered sort of guy who writes pop tunes that could be described as “Burt Bacharach songs filtered through Ween”. Veto Valvoline (here’s an MP3 excerpt) is a cute “laundry list” ditty, in which John attempts to string together as many words beginning with the letter “V” as he can.

On the album version of the song, Karl played his beaten-up Rosetti accordion, a raspy, punk-ish sounding little squeezebox with a broken reed or two. He’s accompanied by a drum, bass and guitar and the vocals of another Canadian indie rock darling who is also a friend of mine, Hawksley Workman. For the live version, John decided to make it just him, and Karl and me on accordion. Karl would play the bassline and I would “comp“, and both of us would sing backing vocals.

I’d only been playing the accordion (and singing in public) for a couple of weeks, but I was game.

We had a great afternoon rehearsing. John, Karl and I met at the condo where I was living at the time, whose entire second floor was a gym that the tenants rarely used. We went through the song — a scary thing for me, becuase until then, I’d been sticking to three-chord rockers on accordion, and John’s terribly fond of having a bazillion chord changes per song. By the end of the afternoon, we had it down cold and were performing the number as we marched around the indoor track, watched quizzically by the few tenants in the gym.

Gig day was an amazing one. We performed live on CBC Radio Two’s show RadioSonic, along with some great musicians, including Martin Tielli of the Rheostatics, Sarah MacElcheran (see the last paragraph of this article) on trumpet, and Hawksley Workman. Despite the fact that radio is not a visual medium, Karl and I decided to dress up as dapper 1920’s gentlemen. There was an audience of about 50 in the studio, so the effort wasn’t completely wasted.

We performed the number quite well, and after the gig, John’s record company got us very drunk and gave us money, with which I took a cute girl out for dancing and more drinking.

A couple of days later, Karl and I were playing accordion of the roof of my building when I made an observation. “Ten years of playing synths, and it never took me any farther than the Queen’s/Kingston bar circuit. One month with the accordion, and I get a CBC radio live gig. I think I’m going to enjoy being an accordion player.”

The bad news:

I am buried under work. I had a nightmare last night where a client called up and said “the Web pages…they’re all blank! The directories are empty! I’m suing!!!”

The good news:

I have accepted the job offer made to me by the “spiffy Internet company” at which I interviewed in this entry. I won’t mention its name until I’ve actually signed the contract.

I’m on MuchOnDemand again!

Now you really can’t say that I’m not doing my part for National Accordion Awareness Month.

VJ Jenn herself has confirmed it: I will be appearing on Tuesday’s edition of MuchOnDemand on MuchMusic, where I have promised to perform Avril Lavigne’s hit, Sk8r Boi. If you’re really lucky, I might even try to squeeze in a little of Jewel’s new hit, Intuition, a song that actually features the accordion quite prominently.

Depending on your musical tastes and point of view, it will be the either high or low point of accordion visibility in Canada.

For those of you who live outside Canada

MuchMusic is the Canadian music video station. It’s like MTV with one critical difference: MuchMusic actually plays music videos.

MuchOnDemand is a one-hour live show that takes place on the main studio floor of the MuchMusic studios, which open out onto my own neighbourhood, Queen Street West. It airs Monday through Thursday between 5:00 p.m. and 6:00 p.m. Eastern Time.

This will mark my second appearance on MuchMusic’s MuchOnDemand, and my third MuchMusic appearance overall (I performed AC/DC’s Big Balls in a piece on Burning Man 1999). Feel free to check my entry on my last MuchOnDemand appearance, where I performed Britney Spears’ Baby One More Time.

Mondo thanks to Jenn and the MuchOnDemand people for letting me on again!

In today’s SUPEROSITY comic, Arcadia (you can find out more about her in the SUPEROSITY Cast Guide) sure sounds a helluva lot like my friend Meryle (you can find out more about her in her blog).