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It Happened to Me Toronto (a.k.a. Accordion City)

Concert of the year, part 1

(It’s a busy day, so today’s entries will come out in snippets. Check back regularly!)

Forget SARStock. Accordion City’s concert of the year was last night’s Bjork on the Island, which took place on Toronto’s Centre Island, a serene park environment a mere ten-minute ferry ride south of the city.

The first act was young teddy bear Asian turntablist Kid Koala, who did his usual amazing job of stitching together sound collage masterpieces — Dada you can dance to — with three turntables and a couple of cases of vinyl LPs. The highlights of his performance were:

  • A live remix of Tears’ For Fears’ Shout, complete with big driving backbeat with a crossfade into some Deltron
  • Opening a number with an old spoken word album in which the narrator described how he loved those cuddly koalas and was completely unprepared for the noise they made
  • His Louis Armstrong tribute, called Drunk Trumpet, in which he turns Armstrong’s trumpet solo on its ear
  • An extended version of his Moon River, his mother’s favourite song. She’s not a fan of his music (“too noisy”, she says), so he thought he’d try to make something she liked, and this was the result. I never thought you could ever get a field of thousands of people under 50 to groove to that song!

Koala was a last-minute addition to the lineup, and according to a friend of a friend who was on the guest list because her cousin is part of his entourage, he’d just thrown together a couple of boxes of vinyl without much planning. He admitted to the crowd that he was nervous, and although he looked a little flustered and made some funny faces the few times he made a mistake (which were inaudible), he put on an amazing show and frequently gots bursts of applause after particularly stunning “solos”. Koala’s sweet nature was quite evident, what with his soft-spoken introductions and “thank yous”, his giving a copy of his cute book Nufonia Must Fall to someone in the front row, and the way he bade the audience farewell: “Have a good night, enjoy yourseves, and be good to each other.”

Recommended Reading

Pound Magazine’s coverage of turntablism.

Nufonia Must Fall. A book with a soundtrack! It’s the tragic tale of a robot who tries to woo a girl with his less-than-stellar love poetry. It’s accompanied by a CD with music arranged by Koala to match the story; you read along with the music and turn the page at the audio cues.

You know, I don’t own this book and my birthday’s coming in a couple of months…

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TV party at my house!

This Friday at 8:00 p.m., I will be on the W Network’s new show, Living Romance. Here’s the description of the show as it appears on their site:

Living Romance on W Network invites the viewer to experience life as a romantic adventure. Hosted by Jonathan Torrens and Ramona Milano, the series will celebrate romance from the first date to the Golden Wedding Anniversary. We’ll explore the various ways to find romance, from traditional matchmakers to modern-day speed dating. You’ll learn how to put the romance back in your relationship and be inspired by stories of enduring love. From Romantic Get-aways to Fun, Fresh Dating, luxurious lingerie to wonderful weddings, Living Romance offers the essential A-Z for romantic living.

(Did they have to use the word “romance” in every sentence? I feel as if that descriptive paragraph just mugged me with a truncheon hidden in a bouquet of roses.)

This episode is about serenading. There are three segments:

  • A mariachi band
  • A guy who wakes up his girlfriend every morning and tucks her in every night by playing the violin for her (I’ll bet that got really old really quickly)
  • The “comic relief” segment in which some guy tries to pick up women on Queen Street armed only with his accordion and his wit

I’m as in the dark about what the show is like as you are; like you, Friday will be my first opportunity to catch the show. The songs they asked me to perform were made up on the spot (so as to avoid having to buy rights), so be warned that it’s not my best work. However, I was feeling pretty energetic on the day of the shoot, so I’m hoping that my enthusiasm, hamminess and chutzpah outshines my terrible extemporaneous lyrics.

In honour of this momentous occasion, there will be a barbecue and viewing at my house, followed by silliness to be determined. The fun will start at around 7, and the viewing at 8. I’ll tape it so that latecomers can watch the glorious train wreck.

Drop me an email or leave a note in the comments if you’re interested!

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My alma mater’s new nickname

On a lark, I ran a Google search on the phrase “Crazy Go Nuts University”. Queen’s University, my alma mater, came up first! It must’ve been all those times I linked the phrase Crazy Go Nuts Universitya name I borrowed from Strong Bad’s Email — to my old school.

I think it’s an appropriate name, as my years there — all seven of ’em — could best be described as “crazy go nuts”. I hope neither Queen’s nor the Chapman brothers (the creators of Strong Bad and all the other characters at HomestarRunner.com) mind.

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Theatre of cruelty

I don’t watch much TV, but there was something I couldn’t resist about Joe Schmo, the reality show in which only one hapless contestant — the Schmo — is real. Everyone else is an actor playing a reality show archteype:

  • The Buddy
  • The Asshole
  • The Grizzled Veteran
  • The Schemer
  • The Rich Bitch
  • The Gay Guy
  • The Virgin
  • The Quack
  • The Smarmy Host

All the “drama” is scripted and treads the fine line between over-the-top and believable (rather like some of the stories in this blog, come to think of it). Normally, reality shows fail to capture my interest for terribly long because they’re so terribly contrived. However, by actually increasing the contrivance to Truman Show levels, scripting the “drama” and giving the viewer that “in on the joke” feeling, I think they’ve actually made the show feel more “real” than any reality TV show.

Of course, I’m assuming that the Schmo isn’t also an actor faking that he doesn’t know that it’s fake.

I think I would’ve loved being on the writing team for Joe Schmo.

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Praise from Down Under

Eamonn emailed me earlier today to let me know that the Australian newspaper The Age made The Adventures of Accordion Guy in the 21st Century their most recent “Topblog” in their tech review section. There’s a headline on the main page of the tech section of their site (for the next while, anyway) that points to an article called Gonzo with the wind:

Joey, aka The Accordion Guy, is a blogger with a touch of Hunter S. Thompson.

Take this recent manic post:

Sooner or later, you’re going to be sitting in the back of the Metaphorical Pickup Truck of Life and realise that there’s a guy in a Pikachu costume smoking crystal meth in the driver’s seat. His foot is jammed hard on the accelerator pedal, he’s drenched in sweat, he has the look of death in his soulless eyes, he’s slashing his own leg with a stiletto knife and screaming, “PAIN WILL BRING ME CLOSER TO FATHER!”

Lesser people – those who can only thrive when the cards are dealt in their favour – will curl up in a ball and wait for the truck to eventually go off a cliff or slam into a bus of orphans and puppies and explode John Woo-style.

Those who know that winning isn’t in the cards you’re dealt, but how you play them, would hop over the cab and onto the hood, Indiana Jones/T.J. Hooker style, smash through the windshield, pummel the driver into submission and bring the vehicle to a complete stop. And then take everyone out for ice-cream afterwards.

I hope to be one of those people.

Joey chronicles his attempts to grab life by the throat almost daily, with themes ranging from weirdo girlfriends to whether “echospamming” (what happens when some spammer uses your email address as their “reply to” address) should be justification for homicide.

As an internationally-known Australian is wont to say: Crikey!

My thanks to the article’s author, Jenny Sinclair, for writing such nice things about me (I’ve never been compared to Dr. Thompson before!) and to Eamonn for the heads-up!

Can anyone send me a clipping of the actual paper? I’ll cover postage…

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Geek It Happened to Me

Cory’s sci-fi convention pictures

Cory Doctorow has ten pages of photos from Torcon (and even a couple from the advance screening of the Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers DVD, which he briefly attended).

He’s also asking if anyone has photos of him in the suit that he wore to the Hugo awards. I caught him at the hotel lobby bar late Saturday night, and yes, his suit looked very sharp, but what I loved was his blue and white striped shirt. Cory, I’ll see if I snapped a photo of you, and hey, where’d you get that shirt?

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If you read the previous entry, be sure to read it again…

…because I got a pivotal fact wrong. Oops.

Corrections appear at the end of the entry.