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I mean, look at this guy’s signature move: it would make for a spectacular fatality.

It’s Mother’s Day, and here on The Adventures of Accordion Guy in the 21st Century, the traditional greeting comes from the baddest mother of them all:

It goes out to all you Moms out there, especially this one:

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!

In case you’re not familiar with the classic 1971 blaxploitation film Shaft, here’s the original trailer:

Now let’s all enjoy the smooth stylings of the late Mr. Isaac Hayes:

Last week, while driving to Clearwater to talk to a prospective client (story later), I was listening to the ’90s alt-rock/grunge channel on satellite radio when The Offspring’s 1994 hit Come Out and Play came on. My immediate thoughts were “I wonder what they’re up to now” and “Did Dexter ever get his molecular biology degree?”

Both questions were answered by this Rolling Stone article that announced:

• Bryan Holland — who’s better known by his nom du rock Dexter Holland — published his dissertation, Discovery of mature microRNA sequences within the protein-coding regions of global HIV-1 genomes: predictions of novel mechanisms for viral infection and pathogenicity, earlier this month. It’s 175 pages on the molecular dynamics of HIV and general virus/host interactions. He was awarded his Ph.D. in molecular biology at USC yesterday.
  • If you’d rather not wade through 175 pages of incredibly esoteric molecular biology text, you can always check out The Offspring’s web page, where you’ll find a short article titled Why I’m Getting a Ph.D. in Molecular Biology.
• The Offspring start touring tomorrow.

If you’re having trouble getting motivated to do something this fine Saturday, I recommend checking out Dexter’s Wikipedia entry, where you’ll discover that he’s done quite a bit in his 51 years on Earth:

• Went to Pacifica High School, where he excelled in math (he found it “just as exciting as punk rock”) and graduated in 1984 as class valedictorian
• Went to University of Southern California, where he got his BS in biology, and MS and Ph.D. in molecular biology
• Founded the band Manic Subsidal in 1984 after he and a buddy failed to get into a Social Distortion concert; the band changed its name to The Offspring in 1985 and went on to release some of the most “nineties” albums of the nineties: Smash, Ixnay on the Hombre, and Americana
• Created his own brand of hot sauce, Gringo Bandito, which has earned some rave reviews
• Teamed up with Jello Biafra to form the F.S.U. Foundation, which raised funds through charity concerts
• Participated in the Los Angeles Marathon in support of the Innocence Project
• Is a licensed airline transport pilot and certified flight instructor; has made a solo trip around the world in 10 days

Congratulations, Doctor Holland! I salute you with a filet mignon on a flaming sword.

I’ll close with this photo of Dexter’s jet:

After five years of toiling in the studio, geek-parody band Palette-Swap Ninja have released their masterpiece, Princess Leia’s Stolen Death Star Plans, which brings together the storyline of Star Wars: A New Hope (which has its 40th anniversary this year) and the songs from The Beatles’ Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band (released 50 years ago). For a guy like me — music aficionado, geek, and regular player of the Star Wars role-playing game, this is a tasty musical biscuit.

Even better, there are videos, one for each song on the album! Created by Katrin Auch and using footage from the movie, they are fantastic, and they’re on YouTube. Here are some screenshots from the first song, set to the tune of Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band:

I was laughing my head off when With Illicit Help From Your Friends kicked in:

Here’s the video:

The attention to details in both the Sgt. Pepper album and the Star Wars storyline is nothing short of breathtaking.

Go — watch the videos, but be warned: you’ll never hear Sgt. Pepper the same way again.

Hey, I live in Florida. This suit is perfect.

“I was thinking of buying something immediately after landing a new job,” I told my wife.

“That sounds nice,” she said. “What are you going to buy?”

“A new suit.”

I don’t care about the original version of this comic — I’m going to simply accept the “chicken nuggets solve everything” adaptation as The One True Version.

Thanks to Gian for the find!