Category: Uncategorized

Leave it to the folks at someecards to come up with some of the best commentary on last night’s presidential debates:

I put in more effort for that interview to do programming for a really cheesy porn site.

What he should’ve said last night (I know, “would’a, could’a, should’a”) was what he said today in Denver:

We had our first debate last night. And when I got onto the stage, I met this very spirited fellow who claimed to be Mitt Romney. But it couldn’t have been Mitt Romney—because the real Mitt Romney has been running around the country for the last year promising $5 trillion in tax cuts that favor the wealthy. The fellow on stage last night said he didn’t know anything about that.

The real Mitt Romney said we don’t need any more teachers in our classrooms. But the fellow on stage last night, he loves teachers—can’t get enough of them. The Mitt Romney we all know invested in companies that were called “pioneers” of outsourcing jobs to other countries. But the guy on stage last night, he said that he doesn’t even know that there are such laws that encourage outsourcing—he’s never heard of them. Never heard of them. Never heard of tax breaks for companies that ship jobs overseas. He said that if it’s true, he must need a new accountant.

Now, we know for sure it was not the real Mitt Romney, because he seems to be doing just fine with his current accountant. So you see, the man on stage last night, he does not want to be held accountable for the real Mitt Romney’s decisions and what he’s been saying for the last year. And that’s because he knows full well that we don’t want what he’s been selling for the last year. So Governor Romney may dance around his positions, but if you want to be President, you owe the American people the truth.

His managed the debate much better than Obama did by channeling his inner Sterling Archer.

You probably recognize this as the gesture, which pantomimes speaking on a old phone handset, as the symbol for “call me”:

The Hi-Call Bluetooth glove handset now lets you use that same gesture to make a call:

With a speaker in the thumb, a microphone in the pinkie finger and Bluetooth components and indicators near the wrist, the Hi-Call glove lets you make and take calls using the well-known hand gesture. It’ll be good for a laugh when you demonstrate it in front of friends, and strangers watching you use the glove from a distance will think you’re one of those crazy people who talk to themselves (although Bluetooth earpieces have had the same effect for years).

Here’s Engadget’s video, where they give the Hi-Call glove a try:

The Hi-Call should be available later this month for about $70. That’s a bit steep for something that has some joke value but that I probably wouldn’t use normally; if it were priced somewhere closer to the Moshi Moshi Retro Handset, I’d consider it as a joke gift for officemates.

This article also appears in Global Nerdy.

That didn’t take long: in response to the discovery that the Saudi Arabian Ikea catalog has all women Photoshopped out, someone created a Tumblr featuring photos in which the women are Photoshopped out and replaced with Ikea products. It’s called I(KEA) Got 99 Problems and a Bitch Ain’t One and it’s high-larious.

First, there was the quick Jay Leno gag featuring Mitt Romney doing the Gangnam Style dance (using Noah Riviera’s body with Mitt’s head composited on it):

Leno’s now been one-upped by College Humor, who’ve done a full-size parody of Gangnam Style, complete with English lyrics and subtitles, as well as a guest rap by VP nominee Paul “Smug Little Shit” Ryan:

Here are some stills from the video:

Mitt Romney style!
Romney style!

I got a horse in the Olympics girl
But I don’t even watch ’em
In and out of tax loopholes
‘Cause I’m so fuckin’ awesome
Bitch it’s Friday night so we be benefit hoppin’
Check my con-spic-u-ous consumption

I’ve got distinguished hair
And a private jet that flies me way up in the air
Buy and sell ya company with so much savoir faire
I bough a mansion for each one of my two dozen heirs
Straight up millionaire

Affluence
Extravagance
That’s Mitt (Hey!)
That’s so Mitt (Hey!)
Profits, investments!
That’s Mitt! (Hey!)
Yeah, that’s so Mitt! (Hey!)
You should elect me
Cause I go so much mon-ay
AY AY AY AY AY!

Mitt Romney style!
Romney Style!
Mitt! Mitt! Mitt! Mitt! Mitt! Mitt!
Mitt Romney style!
Hey, wealthy ladies!
Mitt! Mitt! Mitt! Mitt! Mitt! Mitt!
Mitt Romney style!
Hey, wealthy ladies!
Mitt! Mitt! Mitt!

(Paul Ryan break)

I’m the VP nominee
Yo budget I be cuttin’
I got the eyes and body
So you know I’m gon’ be struttin’
I’ll cut ya social safety net
You losers ain’t got nuthin’
Gotta stop snoozin’
Start hustlin’

(Back to Mitt Romney)

I got large amounts
In Swiss bank accounts
Norris and Eastwood in my vacation house
Talkin’ wine and cheese
Mad Ivy degrees
Baby baby
I got butlers just to wipe me
You know what I’m sayin’!

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
Hey, wealthy ladies!
Mitt! Mitt! Mitt! Mitt! Mitt! Mitt!
Mitt Romney style!
Hey, kissin’ babies!
Mitt! Mitt! Mitt!
Mitt Romney style!

GWAR, Antarctica’s greatest rock band, the only metal band ever to have Jerry Spinger onstage, and whom I saw live on December 31st, 1990, bursting onstage with a hearty “Happy New Year, human scum!”, cover Kansas’ classic rock hit from 1976, Carry on Wayward Son. They performed the number as part of The Onion’s A.V. Room’s Undercover series, in which they get bands you wouldn’t expect to do covers you wouldn’t expect.

You’ve probably seen this classic map showing a New Yorker’s view of the world:

Here’s how a New Yorker running iOS 6’s Maps app sees the world, courtesy of MAD:

Click to see the original.

This article also appears in Global Nerdy.

The philosophy about women and girls in Saudi Arabia can be pretty much summed up as “10,000 BC” or, if you’re historically challenged, “Chicks ruin everything”. The latest evidence for this came up when the Swedish publication Metro (who publish their free paper across the globe) posted comparisons of the Swedish IKEA catalog, shown below…

…and the Saudi Arabian edition, shown below:

Not unlike a programmer meetup, come to think of it.
Except that there’s actual hygiene happening here.

The women in Saudi Arabia’s Ikea catalogs have all gone missing. Not just the women modelling with the furniture and home and office goods, but even the the female designer of Ikea’s cheap-and-cheerful “PS” line of furniture and sundry home items.

As of this writing, it’s still unclear where the decision to make a special “No Girls Allowed” edition came from. Ikea HQ in Sweden, may have figured that the extra expense and participating in Saudi Arabia’s gender apartheid was worth those sweet, sweet petro-bucks, or it may have been the Saudi Arabian franchise who made the call.

Ikea has released a standard-issue “statement expessing regret”. According to AP News, they said:

“We should have reacted and realized that excluding women from the Saudi Arabian version of the catalogue is in conflict with the Ikea Group values.”

AP News also quotes Sweden’s Equality Minister Nyamko Sabuni, who said:

“For Ikea to remove an important part of Sweden’s image and an important part of its values in a country that more than any other needs to know about about Ikea’s principles and values – that’s completely wrong.”

Metro has this quote from Swedish Trade Minister Ewa Björling:

“It’s impossible to retouch women out of reality. These images are yet another regrettable example that shows we have a long road ahead when it comes to gender equality in Saudi Arabia.”

These sorts of Saudi shenanigans shouldn’t surprise anyone. Consider the Saudi edition of the Starbucks logo…

…or the fact that women aren’t allowed to drive there. The ban was unofficial and only turned into an actual law in 1990 when a convoy of 47 women defiantly drove cars through the capital. In a bit of Flintstones-meets-Jetsons strangeness, women are allowed to fly planes — they’re just not allowed to drive to the airport. Women pilots are chauffeured there. For the curious, Wikipedia has a quick summary of Women’s Rights in Saudi Arabia, and it ain’t pretty.