Author: Joey deVilla

Before you get all high-and-mighty and point your finger and say “Florida” with your derisive sneer, let me say two things:

• First, who among you hasn’t wanted to get naked and make off with free burgers and bacon?
• Second, and more importantly: I have an alibi.

Two Sundays ago, a trio of college-age men — two in underwear, and one au naturel — broke into a restaurant in Bonita Springs known as Doc’s Beach House. Instead of going for the cash register or money, they rummaged through the kitchen and they made off with 60 burgers, a few pounds of bacon and some fixings. According to police, the three men “left a trail of red peppers on the beach”.

Doc’s Beach House had two surveillance cameras with night vision capability, so they were able to capture video of the caper. It would appear that while two of the men started their heist in underwear, at some point they decided to let it all hang out and stripped nude.

“No one in their normal state of mind is going to break into a restaurant half-naked and leave naked with a bunch of hamburger meat,” said a police spokesperson, clearly forgetting that this is Florida, where no idea is a bad one.

At one point during the robbery, one of the guys noticed the camera and repositioned it away from their antics, not realizing that there was another camera capturing their every naked move. Night vision security cameras use LED bulbs that project ultraviolet light that’s invisible to the naked eye, but quite bright when viewed through something like a good digital camera.

The nude dudes seem to have left an impression on the waitresses at the restaurant. Lou Bangert, the manager, told the press that his waitresses “want to meet the bandits. Everybody wants to work the night shift now.”

Here’s a local news report:

And for perspective, a map of Florida:

This one’s for fans of both Star Wars and Game of Thrones:

This Monday’s featured accordion number is Seduction, as played by Ginny Mac:

Ginny’s from Houston, Texas, and is a former member of the style-blending and -bending group Brave Combo. Since then she’s gone out on her own, releasing four albums, the latest of which, On the Street Where You Live, came out this spring. Here’s the album’s title track, a wonderful cover of a classic tune:

The perfect thing to accessorize the couch where you’ll watch the Transformers Sex Tape:

Found via Catsmob.
Click the photo to see it at full size.

These pillows are the creation of artist Maya Pixelskaya, and they’ll soon be available for purchase on her site.

What happens when a movie theatre is showing both the Michael Bay film Transformers: Age of Extinction and the Cameron Diaz/Jason Segel comedy Sex Tape? This:

Which led me to wonder: What would a Transformers Sex Tape look like? Maybe like this:

Those of you who read Marvel Comics in the ’80s might remember the relationship in issue #20 of the Transformers comic:

Or this often-misconstrued screengrab from the original animated series:

Kids of the ’80s, I’ve just ruined your childhood:

Bonus movie marquees!

Here’s one I posted back in 2007:

…and here’s my post from 2006:

Newly-minted Tea Party-backed Florida Republican representative (there’s three warnings already) Curt Clawson turned a fairly dull House Foreign Affairs Committee meeting into a potential bonus scene from Harold and Kumar Go to Guantanamo Bay when he mistook two senior US government officials for foreigners.

“I’m familiar with your country; I love your country,” Clawson said at the hearing, and he was met with what Foreign Policy called “looks of confusion” from Nisha Biswal and Arun Kumar, are Americans who hold senior positions at the State Department and Commerce Department.

He likely made the rookie mistake of failing to read the meeting briefing, but as Foreign Policy puts it, he also was “apparently confused by their Indian surnames and skin color,” and as the video below shows, he smugly asked them to help India be a good little client state for big daddy ‘Murica:

“Just as your capital is welcome here to produce good-paying jobs in the U.S.,” he continued, inserting foot deeper into mouth, “I’d like our capital to be welcome there. I ask cooperation and commitment and priority from your government in so doing. Can I have that?”

With commendable composure, Biswal replied, “I think your question is to the Indian government. We certainly share your sentiment, and we certainly will advocate that on behalf of the U.S..”

Foreign Policy also reported: “During the hearing, he repeatedly touted his deep knowledge of the Indian subcontinent and his favorite Bollywood movies.”

Clawson apologized afterwards, saying “I made a mistake in speaking before being fully briefed and I apologize. I’m a quick study, but in this case I shot an air ball.”

Clawson is a newly elected representative for Florida’s 19th Congressional District. He replaced former representative Trey Radel, who took leave after pleading guilty to cocaine possession.

Found on Twitter via Super Infirmière (French for “Super Nurse”).
Click the photo to see the source.

In French, you pronounce the name of the band AC/DC as “Ah-Say Day-say”, which happens to sound just like the phrase “Assez décès“, which means “Enough death”.