Author: Joey deVilla

Just kidding. Really, it’s…

…which has all the mystery of The Phantom Menace, with hopefully none of the confused storytelling and Jar Jar.

In honor of my birthday and my favorite way of celebrating it, let me point you to Drunk Furniture, a blog of photos of discarded furniture with captions that imagine the furniture as people who’ve had waaaay too much to drink…

We’ve all seen (or been) Dave.

Ah, the “We have to be quiet, tee-hee!” stage of drunkenness.

Yay, indeed.

Of course you are.

Somehow, we manage to find our way home. Most of the time, anyway.

…and today, “breakfast” means “a slice of the key lime pie that my future mother-in-law made for me last night”.

Click the comic to see it at full size.

This comic, by Argentinian comic artist Joaquin “Quino” Salvador Lavado, is quite fitting today.

If you’d like to see more, Prose Before Hos put together a collection of some notable Quino comics.

This being Florida, the politics can’t help being weird. Huffington Post has the details.

You’re looking at the next big Canadian supervillain, who’s been dubbed the “Burglar King”, and he’s on a terror campaign in Peterborough, Ontario.

Sporting a pink cape and a gold grown, he was caught on Chris Adlam’s security videocamera stealing a Muskoka chair (that’s an “Adirondack chair” to my American readers) from his porch.

Stealing chairs from someone’s porch in the dead of night is an operation that requires finesse…

…but finesse went out the window when the Burglar realized that a kid’s scooter got caught in the chair…

…and like the best supervillains, the Burglar King knows that discretion is the better part of valor and high-tails it out of there before the noise alerts the house:

The pictures are one thing, but to truly see the Burglar King in action, you should watch the video, which includes sound, so you can hear the clattering as the Burglar King realizes that the chair is tangled up in all sorts of bric-a-brac:

These “vote buttons” are totems that Americans who have come of age wear to encourage their fellow tribespeople to participate in the “election” ritual.

I grew up in Canada and only recently arrived here, so my view of today’s U.S. midterm elections isn’t all that different from this Slate article, which describes the elections in the way the U.S. media would, if they took place in a different country.

Here’s an excerpt:

President Barack Obama’s ruling party will almost certainly lose seats, but whether or not the opposition is able to take over the upper house will be determined by closely fought races in the nation’s torrid southeastern swamps, central agricultural region, and even frigid Arctic villages thousands of miles from the capital.

There is no shortage of pressing issues, from a sluggish economic recovery to multiple foreign wars, facing this large and diverse society. Still, elections in this vast nation can often be characterized by idiosyncratic local rituals. In this campaign season, feats of strength involving dominating animals have been popular. One opposition candidate for national office has boasted of castrating pigs…

…another of wrestling alligators:

While the country’s citizens have migrated en masse to large cities in search of greater economic opportunity, specialists in American folkways say people here still value these demonstrations of rural aptitude. Not to be outdone, government loyalists have boasted of their marksmanship…

and snowmobiling skills:

Appealing to nationalist sentiment, the opposition has accused the government of allowing too many immigrants to make their way across the country’s southern border, tying this issue to fears of deadly viruses and terrorism. There have also been disturbing unconfirmed reports of a “war on women” being waged by religious extremists in the country’s Western mountains.

In this deeply traditional society, where great import is accorded to family ties, powerful clans build patronage networks, and political office is often passed between relatives. Remarkably, one race pits the cousin of a former governor against the daughter of a former senator.

Go, my American friends, and vote for the warlord, chieftain, elder, or archon who will best represent you and your clan!