Author: Joey deVilla

In “I have NO ONE to love!”, my recent post on the heartbroken guy at the grocery store near me on Valentine’s Day, I mentioned that the two items in his cart were a six-pack of beer and a store-bought rotisserie chicken. I linked to a Bloomberg article by Megan McArdle titled Everyone Wins When You Buy a Rotisserie Chicken, in which she links to Cat Vasko’s article for KCET, Grocery Store Economics: Why are Rotisserie Chickens So Cheap?, which sets out to answer its titular question.

Enough readers told me that they were surprised by the facts about these tasty bundles of joy that I decided the grocery store rotisserie chicken deserved its own blog entry.

Vasko’s answer to the mystery of why fully-prepped store-bought chicken is cheaper than buying a raw chicken and then putting in the time to cooking it can be summed in a single word: economics. Here’s how she explains it:

…much like hunters who strive to use every part of the animal, grocery stores attempt to sell every modicum of fresh food they stock. Produce past its prime is chopped up for the salad bar; meat that’s overdue for sale is cooked up and sold hot. Some mega-grocers like Costco have dedicated rotisserie chicken programs, but employees report that standard supermarkets routinely pop unsold chickens from the butcher into the ol’ rotisserie oven.

…

Rotisserie chickens aren’t even the end of the line. When unsold, fresh meats, fruits and veggies that have passed their sell-by points can be “cooked up for in-store deli and salad counters before they spoil,” per no less a source than a consultant to the supermarket industry.

At this point, you might be concerned that the chickens are cheap because you’re buying rotten food. That’s not the case. The datestamps you see on food products, often called the “sell-by”, “use-by”, and “best before” dates, aren’t safety indicators, but a general ballpark figure to give you a hint of when the food will be at its best. The sell-by date is often based on how long it takes for the product to change noticeably in appearance — not its safety — when stored properly. That’s why most of the time, food that’s a few days or more past its sell-by date won’t make you ill or kill you. In fact, sell-by dates are scaring people into throwing perfectly good food away.

In the end, your own good sense and education (or, if need be, a friend or family member’s good sense and education) is your best guide. You can augment your good sense and education at StillTasty.com. If you want to get the most bang for your grocery buck, bookmark this site!

In a world where buying something at a ridiculously cheap price means that something bad happened, the grocery store rotisserie chicken is a shining beacon of virtue. You get a cheap dinner, the grocery store wastes less food, the grocery store can sell fresh raw food at lower prices — everybody wins, except for the chicken!

I love what McArdle has to say about the importance of the store-prepped chicken:

This is the sort of thing that no one talks about when they talk about innovation –and yet, it’s a major way in which our economy has become more efficient over the last few decades. Reducing spoilage means grocery stores can sell us raw chickens at lower prices — and that we can get fresh, delicious prepared food at even lower prices. It’s a win for the grocer and the consumer.

So the next time you hear someone talk about the innovation economy, don’t just think of Facebook or Google. The folks who spit-roast chickens, streamline factory production, or think up any of a million ways to save a little money here and there are just as important in improving our standard of living. Especially when it’s five minutes to 7 and you still haven’t made anything for dinner.

(And in my opinion, it’s the chicken’s own damn fault. As an omnivore, I’ve always said that if animals don’t want to be eaten, they should vote.)

When the conversation topic turns to store-bought rotisserie chicken — it happens more often than you think, at least in the circles in which I move — the ones you can get at Costco eventually come up. At the time of this writing, the price of a tasty, roasted whole bird is still $4.99, which is less than most combos at a food court. When they reported some disappointing financial results (not big losses, but tiny gains) back in 2013, Costco’s CFO urged investors to think of their “incredible, giant” rotisserie chickens when they thought of Costco, and their stock price bounced back quickly. The birds get discussed by the foodies on Chow, covered in pieces in the Washington Post, and debated over in bodybuilding forums (“Emergency muscle food, brah!“). Costco maintains a Facebook page for their rotisserie chickens, and you can easily find fans on Pinterest.

While rotisserie chickens are great as-is, they’re also excellent starters for your own recipes, and since they’ve already been cooked, you’ll save time. Since I work from home and The Missus commutes, I’m usually on the hook for making dinner, so I’ve picked up a collection of go-to places for all sorts of meals. Here are mine for store-bought rotisserie chicken:

• The Art of Manliness’ 5 Delicious Ways to Use a Store-Bought Rotisserie Chicken
• U Create’s Best Rotisserie Chicken Recipes. Try the chicken enchilada soup!
• Cookies and Cups’ 50 Shortcut Meals Using Rotisserie Chicken.
• Real Simple’s 10 Recipe Ideas for Rotisserie Chicken
• Food Network’s Weeknight Rotisserie Chicken Recipes

While Canada is closing in on its 150th birthday, its current flag turns a mere 50 years old today. This fine bit of design — praised by vexillologists for its clean, clear design that works even at a distance — was a long time coming.

From 1867 to 1965, the flag that Canadians flew was either the Union Jack or some variant of the Red Ensign, the last one looking like this:

There were several attempts to get an official flag made throughout the previous century, which led to the Great Canadian Flag Debate. It began in earnest in June 1964 when then-Prime Minister Lester B. Pearson (after whom Toronto’s airport is named) proposed plans for a new flag. He wanted a flag that embodied Canadian history and tradition, and he also didn’t want it to have a Union Jack. It’s that latter bit that got people, including former Prime Minister John Diefenbaker, riled.

Here’s Pearson’s preferred flag:

The three maple leaves are straight from the design on the Red Ensign, and the blue fields represent the Pacific and Atlantic oceans.

The Great Flag Debate is commemorated in this painting by Rex Woods, who could very well be Canada’s answer to Norman Rockwell. This painting can be found in one of the ground floor meeting rooms of the Toronto offices of Rogers, one of the big Canadian telecommunications companies:

Click the photo to see it at full size.

Of the designs in the painting, I’m kind of fond of the psychedelic one:

I think it would make a stunning poster or mural.

A number of designs for a new Canadian flag were submitted during the time of the debate, and the National Post features a selection of notable ones in an article that looks at the flags Canada could’ve had. Among them is this too-busy, too-literal one:

…and this one, which uses a stylized aurora borealis to represent the ten provinces:

…and this one featuring St. George’s Cross for English Canada, the fleur-de-lys for French Canada, and the Beatles for rock and roll Canada:

Happy 50th birthday, Canadian flag! May you continue to fly high and end up in places you’d never expect to be:

Former Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer borrowed my Canadian flag hat for this shot.

Worth checking out

Give episode 140 of the design-focused podcast, 99% Invisible, a listen. It’s titled Vexillonaire, and it’s all about designing kickass flags.

There’s a reason why these are so cheap — and for once, it’s not a bad one.
Click the photo to find out why everyone (except the chicken) wins when you buy one of these.

Yesterday, after picking up the last parts of Valentine’s Day dinner, I got in line at the cashier behind a guy who had just finished paying. I have no idea what happened just prior to my arrival, so I caught only the very last thing he said to the woman at the cash register:

“I have no one to love!” he exclaimed.

He immediately grabbed his two items — one of those store-cooked rotisserie chickens that for reasons unknown to most people are always cheaper to buy than make yourself, and a six-pack of beer — and hustled out of the store at top speed. He moved so quickly and the exit was so close that I didn’t even have a chance to say “It gets better,” or something similar.

It was now my turn at the cashier. From my basket, I pulled out two kinds of pate and a chocolate bear holding a big red heart.

“You have someone to love,” the cashier said.

“Maybe these are for me,” I said with a smile. “Maybe I love myself a lot…like Kanye.”

She gave me a concerned look.

“No, I’ve got someone. Getting married next month.”

The Valentine’s bear I bought.

I hope that he’s just having a bad post-breakup moment, which we’ve all had, and not in need of more serious help. I hope he’ll be all right.

Take it from me, dude. It gets better.

Happy Valentine’s Day! If you need a last-minute card for a special someone, try these ones, starring the rapper who knows love like no one else…Kanye West!

I just had to put this out there, because I can. This calls for a song by an appropriately-named band:

Funny ad placement of the day!

The Sun News Network — for those of you outside Canada, imagine FOX News, but with on-air personalities seemingly culled from a fifth-rate college’s Ayn Rand club and production values that made Wayne’s World’s basement show seem opulent  — shut down after four years.

While it’s sad that 200 people are losing their jobs and it’s nice that many people in the same Canadian media who were often attacked by Sun News Network are offering kind words to them, let’s not mince words:

It was a shitty, shitty television station, and it deserved to go under.

It was available to 5 million households and on its best days could barely garner 8,000 viewers, which isn’t even two-tenths of a percent of their market. By the rules of the free market which they claim to hold dear, they should close up shop. Which they did, so hey, kudos to them for sticking to their guns!

Another area in which they were consistent was their “white makes right” messaging. They featured on-air “personality” Ezra Levant calling the Roma “a culture synonymous with swindlers … one of the central characteristics of that culture is that their chief economy is theft and begging”, which led to him having to make a rare and unconvincing apology, the usual diatribes against First Nations people, and of course, invectives against their favorite target, Muslims, with pieces like Islam’s War on the World, which attempted to paint 1.6 billion people with the same brush. And how can we forget this classic “whitesplaining” segment in which they had a bunch of white guys explain to a brown guy that there’s no such thing as white privilege?

They did try to make up for it in a follow-up segment by asking Desmond Cole, a black guest, to explain white privilege, but host Jerry Agar does an even better job of explaining it — inadvertently, by demonstrating that he’s got it in spades.

They knew how to sensationalize, as shown in this promo for their expose on — of all things — wind power:

They made their dislike of the arts and arts funding known, in the infamous Margie Gillis “ambush interview”. It led to nearly 7,000 complaints being filed with the CRTC, a number almost as large as their viewership:

They took the worst people in Toronto politics and gave them their own show, even if it lasted for just one episode:

Although they got few fans, the ones that they were able to get were really big ones. Here’s Sun News Network’s biggest fan from the U.S., and surprise, surprise — he’s from the worst state in the Union:

More recently, one of their reporters, Vandon Gene, crassly asked Anderson Cooper to pose for a photo with him at the scene of the Ottawa shooting, and threw a hissy fit when Cooper refused, reminding him that they were in a place where a soldier had just been killed:

Gene took the hissy fit to Twitter. He later deleted these tweets, but it was too late — people had already taken screen shots:

Sun News Network promptly fired Gene, who’s still carping away on Twitter and presumably embarrassing his schoolmates at Carleton University. (As we used to say at Queen’s: “If you can’t go to school, go to Carleton!”)

And finally, only a few months ago, a straight-up, cynical, bald-faced lie. I’ll let Jonathan Kay do the explaining:

This desperation to whip up outrage—any kind of outrage—within the Sun News audience community caused Sun producers to target dubious scare stories. One of the worst examples came on November 10, 2014, when the network began zeroing in on a single school board that, Levant claimed, was letting Muslim kids opt out of Remembrance Day ceremonies. The story wasn’t even true, but the network kept spinning it for another day or two simply because it had nothing else to put on the air.

Worse still, Sun News Network’s Ezra Levant continues to use the fake story, even though it’s been discredited, to drum up business for his online store selling T-shirts:

Of all people, Levant should know how wrong this sort of libel is, never when it’s used in the service of crass commercialism. But hey…it’s against people he doesn’t like, so that’s okay! And besides…CAPITALISM!

But after a long battle for viewers, an unsuccessful bid for “mandatory carriage”, and bleeding money, they closed their doors in every sense. On Friday the 13th, no less! If you tune into their channel slot right now, it now looks like this…

This is an opportunity to start that “All Beastmaster, all the time!” channel.

…and even their web presences — their site, Twitter account, Facebook page, and so on — have been yanked offline.

It’s my hope that the 200-ish people who worked at Sun News Network go on to find new jobs. Preferably real jobs where their efforts would go to making the world a better place, or at least where their talents for creating some of the most surreal television in Canada are applied in a more productive and beneficial direction. I hope that they capitalize on their downtime to think and reflect long and hard about what they’ve done.

This time next month, the hall will be empty, the guests will have already gone home (possibly with a little beach sand in their shoes), and The Future Missus will be The Missus. Looking forward to it.