Author: Joey deVilla

…nobody, that is, except for Mr. T, in Mr. T.’s Storm Chase School. Funny and educational!

[Thanks to FARK for the link.]

Last night, after the 2003 edition of Iron Chef White Trash (where I played the role of Chairman Kaga — here are the 2000 photos), the friend whom I brought along turned to me and said “It’s nice to have a funny evening out with someone who isn’t…broken.”

Things have been a little twisted lately. While I’m pretty sure I’m not broken, I’m certainly feeling dinged. Or would the correct word be scratched? Or scuffed?

Perhaps I should hit the pub and get bent or hammered. (It is Cinco de Mayo, after all…)

The weather in Accordion City is lovely (it could stand to be a little warmer), and I also have some chores to do. Enjoy the weekend!

I love you, really, I do. I’m even the direct descendent of an American from Dayton, Ohio (actually, he was from Eaton, Ohio, which is just outside Dayton). You know, the home of Vicky von Vicky jeans in that one episode of WKRP.

You get lots of things right. Rock and Roll. The Internet. Diet Coke. The Constitution. Sara Lee chocolate-covered cheesecake bites. Women’s sufferage. Plentiful air conditioning. The civil rights movement. Lots of ice cubes in drinks. New York City. The Daily Show. Inspiring the lyrics to AC/DC’s greatest rock anthem. Occasionally doing the Philippines a favour (getting rid of the Japanese occupation, making the Philippines the Asian hub for FedEx). Allowing me to live the lyrics to AC/DC’s greatest rock anthem. Freedom.

America, you’re my friend. And friends can talk honestly with each other, right? You’ve been acting a little weirdly lately — and not in the good way. Here’s the latest sign: U.S. says Canada cares too much about liberties.

Is everything all right?

While I’m on the topic of dating: I’m still getting linked to from other blogs about the New Girl story. From some pretty big names in the blogosphere, no less — Asparagirl has just linked to the story, driving my hits up once again. I’m going to have to pay my Web hosting company a little extra money this month, but it’s nothing that 15 minutes of accordion playing on a good night couldn’t fix.

I’m also still getting lots of nice emails from strangers sending their condolences, offering free beer and wishing me well in general. Thanks, everybody!

Some of you have been asking if I’ve seen or heard from New Girl. Here’s the latest:

• She’s been seen about town, but not at her usual haunts. What with all the negative press she’s been getting from local LiveJournals in the wake of my story, she hasn’t set foot in any of the local haunts for some time.
• Someone mentioned that she was crashing on the couch of a fellow member of Cocaine Anonymous, but got tossed out a few days later.
• When she has no place to crash, she often checks herself into the psych ward of a local hospital. She treats it as if it were a cleaner, if quirkier, free youth hostel (remember, we have universal medicare here in Canada) and uses a paperback copy of Girl, Interrupted as a guide for “acting the part”.
• The cops seem to be very interested in finding her. Apparently, she’s got a court date for a fraud case. She was also somehow involved in a party that got busted, and when the cops questioned her, she gave them the name and address of her Cocaine Anonymous sponsor as her own.
• I recently got email from her, and have added her to the “blocked” list. Really, New Girl, what makes you think I want to hear anything you have to say?
• New Girl has a fan! In the comments section of another blog, a woman who somehow confused feminism with vengeance has this to say:
  

  There’s only “injury” here because the “victim” had his/her own expectations of the duper. I’ve known better dupers than the one he met – I see no need for moral outrage. The only people they “injure” are people who want something from them, and don’t get it [or don’t get it back once they give it]. And pointing out double standards between the sexes is not a “man-vs-woman” thing, it’s just an individual opinion thing. Oh but sorry to interrupt the flow of the moral condemnation for “bad behaviour”. I realize that’s important to some of you… so please… resume the ‘tsk tsk’ talk n’ the public flogging of this evil spidery deceitful wench… I’ll piss off.

  Sorry Joey I hadn’t seen your last post. I’m glad you’re starting to see that I wasn’t “relishing in your pain” [you were a hypothetical stranger when I first commented] but rather simply taking issue with this woman [or anyone] being tarred n’ feathered online for doing what seemed [from your own account] like little more than masterfully lying to you about her identity and *not* living up to your romantic expectations [annoying yet somewhat benign in and of itself]. It seemed to me a double standard to condemn her as some kind of harpy, since… when men do the same as her, it’s passed off as mere “bad boy” behaviour. As for her criminal record and “bad behaviour” – I still feel that’s for the law to decide, not rumour mills and virtual stoning [which is what is happening – even if her ID is withheld]. I don’t know this woman. Hell – *you* don’t know this woman either by what you describe. And me – I was simply uncomfortable with the idea that I was expected to fall in line and throw another rock at her. I admire her guts and her obvious talent – that doesn’t mean I’m glad she hurt you. I see you as partly to blame for your own situation – that also doesn’t mean I think you “deserved” it and it also doesn’t mean I’m glad she hurt you. Brief – more personal responsibility – less rock throwing.

  I never “relished” in Joey’s pain – I merely celebrated power in un-expected places. You think the world owes you the “truth”?

  I won’t link to the comments directly, because they’re from someone else’s blog, and I don’t want to start scrapping there. Blogs are people’s homes on the Web, and you don’t bring fights to other people’s homes.

  As for New Girl’s one and only fan, a little advice: when you live in a moral vaccuum, you cannot help but suck. Make good on your promise and piss off, willya?

• I didn’t even know there was such a thing as Cocaine Anonymous. Did you?

…but you wouldn’t know it from Hollywood movies. Even in the “enlightened” future of the Star Trek universe, the portrayals haven’t been all too hot: while one can easily imagine Hikaru Sulu getting action, it’s more difficult to do the same with uber-wuss Harry Kim. I’ve eaten salads with more macho.

Tak Toyoshima, the writer and artist behind Secret Asian Man, summed it up pretty nicely:

If there is hope for the portrayal of Asians in Hollywood as something other than gooks or geeks, it’s in films like Better Luck Tomorrow. Check out the trailer and if you live in Accordion City, let me know if you want to catch it with me next week.

And as for the blogosphere, I think I’ve proven that Asian guys do get the girl…it’s just that sometimes, getting the girl isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. Anyhow, as a public service, here are some mackin’ photos of a certain accordion-playing Thrilla from Manila…

This girl once mentioned to me that I was the only person she knew to ever mention the Mason-Dixon Line in casual conversation. I’d said something like “Going south of the Mason-Dixon line is sometimes like going back in time a hundred years.”

However, as long as they’re trying to revive whites-only proms in Georgia, I think the term — and my remark — still apply. For starters, the young lady and her very charming accordion-playing gentleman friend in the picture above wouldn’t be allowed to go.

(According to the article, one of the rationales behind the whites-only prom was a desire to “avoid problems arising from interracial dating”. As an expert in this field, the only problems arising from interracial dating all stem from the bigotry of others. That’s the problem with wearing pillowcases on your heads, people — they’re cutting off the oxygen to your brains.)

[Thanks to Smittie, who pointed me to cls.blog, for the link.]