“Stuff White People Like”

by Joey deVilla on February 15, 2008

Photo collage: stuff white people like

A very snarky and amusing blog has popped up in the past few months: Stuff White People Like, and the title is a pretty good summary of what it’s about. Among the stuff covered are:

  • Hating their parents.
  • Asian girls.
  • Wes Anderson movies. See the links here for more on the debate about his films.
  • Religions that their parents don’t belong to. “Mostly they are into religion that fits really well into their homes or wardrobe and doesn’t require them to do very much.”
  • Writer’s workshops. (cough Cory cough Doctorow!)
  • 80s nights. When I was a teen, it was 60s nights.
  • Vegan/vegetarianism. When once asked if there was a Filipino word for “vegetarian” or “vegan”, I replied “retard”.
  • Renovations.
  • Apple products.
  • Arts degrees. “But what about the white people who study Science, Engineering or Business? Unless they become doctors, they essentially lose white person status (and can only be regained by working at a non-profit).”
  • Whole Foods. “White people need organic food to survive, and where they purchase this food is as important as what they purchase. In modern white person culture, Whole Foods has replaces churches and cathedrals as the most important and relevant buildings in the community.”
  • Apologies. White people know that their ancestors did some messed up things. As a result, it has become hard wired for them to apologize for almost anything. In fact, white people are so used to apologizing that they start all sentences that might cause disagreement with “I’m sorry.” For example “I’m sorry, but Garden State was a better film than Hard Eight.”
  • Juno.
  • Knowing what’s best for poor people. “It is a poorly guarded secret that, deep down, white people believe if given money and education that all poor people would be EXACTLY like them. In fact, the only reason that poor people make the choices they do is because they have not been given the means to make the right choices and care about the right things.”
  • Divorce.

I am surprised that they haven’t covered mayonnaise yet. Perhaps they’re saving it for the 100th post.

I do like a number of the things listed in Stuff White People Like (Apple products, microbrews, wine, kitchen gadgets and bicycles in particular), so depending on your point of view and your personal politics, I’m either well-adapted or I’ve sold out. Feel free to discuss this in the comments!

{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }

Wendy February 15, 2008 at 11:50 am

You liked Juno too.

As your white (white ethnic! hehehe) wife, I’m not sure really what to say on this topic. 🙂

Chris Taylor February 15, 2008 at 12:10 pm

Ergh… you like that, dude? I can only imagine what the reaction would be like if the site’s theme was “Stuff Black People Like”.

A more accurate title would be “Stuff Douchey Urbanites Like”.

If one were to travel to town like Smooth Rock Falls, ON, and poll the 98% of residents who are not visible minorities, virtually every supposed Caucasian “like” wouldn’t even be on their radar.

The snark factor is kinda amusing but man, those people need to get outside of the city once in a while. There are big swaths of Caucasian populations that don’t like any of that garbage.

Maybe it’s the benefit of having a foot in both worlds, but the Japan/Asian girl fascination doesn’t work for me. The girls all look like relatives. =) And Japan is a great place to visit as gaijin, where you are not expected to know and observe the unwritten rules. As native-born it’s a different story — highly recommend reading Michael Zielenziger’s book Shutting Out The Sun: How Japan Created its Own Lost Generation.

Joey deVilla February 15, 2008 at 12:17 pm

@Chris Taylor: Yeah, that blog looks at a particular demographic slice. “Smoothie”, my pal from Queen’s who got his nickname from his home town of Smooth Rock Falls, would probably list:

  • AC/DC
  • Lumberjack shirts
  • Blue angels
  • Mailbox baseball
  • Hockey
  • Tim Horton’s
  • Corner Gas
  • Drinking and driving/snowmobiling

and having been to a couple of Bob Tarantino gatherings of bloggers who think Small Dead Animals is a ripping good read, it would seem that the stuff they like boils down to:

  • Mark Steyn
  • Bitching and moaning
  • Falling Down
  • Leading lives of not-so-quiet desperation
Chris Taylor February 15, 2008 at 12:37 pm

Hahah, people still play mailbox baseball. Excellent! [air guitar]

Tim’s is the devil though. I don’t understand how people can drink that coffee… Tastes like reindeer piss to me. Chacun à son goût.

Steyn is hard to take ever since he started his “demography of doom” wailing. Sharp guy but lay off the monomania.

Joey deVilla February 15, 2008 at 12:40 pm

@Chris Taylor: Of course, if you really want to hit rock bottom, you need to try Galaxy Donuts coffee. That place makes Coffee Time look like the King Edward. I need to dig up my pics for the Galaxy Donuts photo essay I’ve been meaning to post.

Chris Taylor February 15, 2008 at 1:09 pm

There is an ultra-skeevy donut/coffee shop around Clendennan (possibly Laws St) and Dundas W. Right beside the little parkette, I think. In the summer there are always a half-dozen burly old men sitting in the parking lot by the (open) back door, and the inside is always empty.

I wonder how places like that get enough revenue every month to make their lease payments.

Margot Lewis February 15, 2008 at 1:45 pm

That is a list of what yuppies like, not white people. Joey, you totally qualify as a yuppie. That group needs to remember that rednecks on both sides of the border (AAAAARRRRRR_GOOOOOOSSSS) are also white and can’t even spell half the things on the list.

Wendy February 15, 2008 at 2:13 pm

Chris, we went in there when we were looking for apartments so I could pee. When you’ve gotta go…

Susan February 15, 2008 at 2:28 pm

Are you sure Smoothie isn’t from Glencoe?

darryl February 15, 2008 at 3:29 pm

This all reminds me of Queen Street Man

http://torontoist.com/2006/02/queen_west.php

siobhan February 15, 2008 at 3:44 pm

Joey
I’m glad you made the distinction between the 80’s night / 60’s night. I really think the 80’s are the NEW 60’s!

Its going to be all kids dressing up in 80’s costumes now for halloween pulling vintage clothes from their parents closets i.e. leg warmers, stirrup pants, jelly shoes for girls.
Van Halen T-shirts, tight tight white or acid wash jeans for guys.

sio.

Maria February 15, 2008 at 5:05 pm

And aren’t I planning an 80s party for… some time soon?

Joey deVilla February 15, 2008 at 5:25 pm

@Margot Lewis: You’ll get no argument from me. If getting tagged with the label “Yuppie” is the price for being relatively young, urban and in a profession, that’s fine by me.

Hell, I’ll buy the labelmaker!

Anushka February 17, 2008 at 7:21 am

“When once asked if there was a Filipino word for “vegetarian” or “vegan”, I replied “retard”.”

Hilarious. I’ve been reading your blog for years and now I’m done. Good luck with the ongoing and sophomoric bashing of environmentalists and sustainability advocates. I believe you call them “hippies, ” which further illustrates how out of touch you are with at least this member of your former readership.

Peace,
~Anushka Z

Joey deVilla February 17, 2008 at 11:06 am

@Anushka: Sorry to hear you’ll be leaving the readership, because you might find that we’re more aligned than you might think. My disagreement is with environmentalism-as-fashion-statement rather than the actual scientific and ethical philosophies behind it.

I encourage you to keep reading, and if you find points on which you disagree, by all means — please feel free to call me out on it. If you’d rather not read this blog, please accept my best wishes on wherever life takes you.

kenley February 18, 2008 at 9:34 pm
Teeney February 21, 2008 at 8:46 pm

For the record, mayonaise is a huge hit in Latin America. I had to order my burritos “sin mayonessa” when I was there (although that was four years ago).

I let them leave the ketchup on there, though.

Jim Treacher February 28, 2008 at 6:31 am

You just picked up a new reader. I’m all for anybody who can annoy a “sustainability advocate” named Anushka.

Joey deVilla February 28, 2008 at 10:55 am

@Jim Treacher: I can’t guarantee that you’re going to like everything I write, but welcome aboard, Jim!

As for sustainability, I think that good planetary stewardship and enjoying a tasty medium-rare ribeye aren’t mutually exclusive.

Kim April 3, 2008 at 9:43 pm

Check this one out:

http://stuffwhiteparentslike.com

Leave a Comment

{ 1 trackback }

Previous post:

Next post: