Categories: Uncategorized

A better song to time washing your hands

Are you tired of singing Happy Birthday to You to ensure you’re washing your hands for 20 seconds? Want to sing a different, cooler, angstier song? Want to wash for an extra ten seconds?

Just sing the break from Violent Femmes’ Kiss Off. On their eponymous album, this section takes exactly 30 seconds:

I take one, one, one ’cause you left me and
Two, two, two for my family and
Three, three, three for my heartache and
Four, four, four for my headaches and
Five, five, five for my lonely and
Six, six, six for my sorrow and
Seven, seven n-n-n-no tomorrow and
Eight, eight, I forget what eight was for, but
Nine, nine, nine for a lost god, and
Ten, ten, ten, ten for everything! Everything! Everything! Everything!

To slightly twist the lyrics:

You’ll wash your hands, but you won’t mind
You’ll wash your hands, you should do it all the time

Joey deVilla

View Comments

Recent Posts

Unexpected product: The half-gallon milk crate car cup holder adapter

I’ve done the occasional Tampa-to-St. Pete commute during peak times, and they can easily stretch…

4 days ago

Lucky Tigre / relationship goals

Anitra and I saw the sticker pictured above on a Model Y Tesla parked outside…

4 days ago

Sunday picdump for Sunday, May 3

It’s Sunday, and it’s time for another “picdump!” Here are the memes, pictures, and cartoons…

6 days ago

Before there were demotivational posters, there were demotivational tapestries

I saw this a couple of weeks ago in Austin at Uncommon Objects, a delightfully…

1 week ago

Your regular reminder that we live in an age of wonders

This stuff makes for amazing fried rice or musubi (a.k.a. “Spam sushi”).

2 weeks ago

No weapons allowed in the bridal shop

Anitra and I were dropping off a package at the UPS Store on Kennedy when…

2 weeks ago