These quotes won’t be word-perfect, but they’re as close as I can get them.
David Letterman, recalling the birth of his son Harry last year, during which he was “a complete basket case”:
You know, I’m not a young guy. [Letterman’s in his late fifties.] I did some soul-searching and thought: “I’ll leave the country!”
Ed Helms on The Daily Show:
John, if you want to have gay sex or visit a library, tonight might be your last night to do it. Personally, I’m going to kill two birds with one stone.
Here’s your motivation for the day: All you need are three chords and the truth…
It’s Sunday, and it’s time for another “picdump!” Here are the memes, pictures, and cartoons…
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/qxIANXknGvo I even predicted the final line of the skit!
This car was ditched in both senses of the word, and was still there (near…
Whether you’re celebrating U.S. Thanksgiving or trudging towards Mordor to dispose of a very dangerous…