It Happened to Me

The forklift safety training video I’ll never forget (and neither will you)

During the summer between high school and university, I landed a job at a warehouse where I was often required to drive a small electric forklift.

Prior to getting my 15 minutes of “training” on the use of the forklift, my manager and I sat in the break room and watched the mandatory safety video.

This “circular saw to the groin” scene could’ve come straight out of one of the Final Destination movies.
I can see the director calling for more red corn starch syrup.
I’m reminded of the song by ’80s synth-pop band Heaven 17: Crushed by the Wheels of Industry!

It was the 1980s, which was the golden age of gorehorror worker’s compensation workplace injury ads and videos in Ontario, and the one we watched took things to a red-corn-starch-syrup-soaked new level.

There’s a scene that’s forever seared into my memory. It starts with the Merry Prankster’s golden prize: an unattended forklift with the keys still in the ignition. A carefree teen decides to take it for a joyride, does a couple of donuts in the warehouse, and quickly loses control.

He plows the forks, which have been raised to the “halfway up” position (which you don’t do when the ’lift isn’t carrying anything), into an oh-so-fake wall:

Look out for the fake wall!

As if that isn’t bad enough, the lunchroom is on the other side of that wall, and so was someone who was just having lunch — he’s now just been forked from behind:

“Finally, I can enjoy my swiss and pastrami on ryAIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!”

I remember going home that evening and thinking with great disbelief:  “Grown adults commissioned, wrote, and made that video. And got paid for it.

I’d forgotten about that video, and had even begun to think that I’d misremembered it — until this compilation started making the internet rounds. And yup, it features the “forked from behind” scene!

Once again, in case you missed it the first time:

Joey deVilla

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