Headline of the day: “Pair hired for man’s broom sexual fantasy turn up in bedroom at wrong address with machetes”

The Sky News headline reads “Pair hired for man’s broom sexual fantasy turn up in bedroom at wrong address with machetes,” and has the subheading “After appearing in an unsuspecting resident’s bedroom with knives at 6.15am, the duo accepted their mistake, saying ‘sorry mate’”.

I love the rather matter-of-fact account of what happened:

Police said the intended client had “history and proclivity for engaging the services of people”.

He had made arrangements with a man on Facebook for people to engage in the role play, and sent his address – before he later updated it after moving house more than 30 miles away.

But the resident of the home where the men mistakenly turned up to told police that when he noticed a light on in his lounge at around 6.15am, he assumed it was a friend who visits daily to make coffee.

He said he called out: “B***** off, it’s too early.”

After hearing a voice asking “is your name Kevin?”, the man said he turned his light on to see two men he did not recognise standing next to his bed, both holding machetes.

A conversation then ensued, in which the pair repeatedly sought to establish whether he was “Kevin”, each time being told “no” in response.

At one point, one of them asked: “Are you sure you are not Kevin as we were told to come to [this address] and pick up Kevin.”

Eventually accepting their error, the duo then left, with one saying “sorry mate” and shaking the resident’s hand, while the other said “bye”.

The resident then called police.

I have questions:

1. It’s supposed to be a “broom fantasy”. Why did they bring machetes?
2. How do you get a wrong address in the age of GPS?
3. Maybe I’m getting old, but who schedules a fantasy encounter for 6:15 a.m.? These days, the only thing I fantasize about at that time is more sleep.