You have to call The Offspring’s frontman “DOCTOR Holland” now

Last week, while driving to Clearwater to talk to a prospective client (story later), I was listening to the ’90s alt-rock/grunge channel on satellite radio when The Offspring’s 1994 hit Come Out and Play came on. My immediate thoughts were “I wonder what they’re up to now” and “Did Dexter ever get his molecular biology degree?”

Both questions were answered by this Rolling Stone article that announced:

• Bryan Holland — who’s better known by his nom du rock Dexter Holland — published his dissertation, Discovery of mature microRNA sequences within the protein-coding regions of global HIV-1 genomes: predictions of novel mechanisms for viral infection and pathogenicity, earlier this month. It’s 175 pages on the molecular dynamics of HIV and general virus/host interactions. He was awarded his Ph.D. in molecular biology at USC yesterday.
  • If you’d rather not wade through 175 pages of incredibly esoteric molecular biology text, you can always check out The Offspring’s web page, where you’ll find a short article titled Why I’m Getting a Ph.D. in Molecular Biology.
• The Offspring start touring tomorrow.

If you’re having trouble getting motivated to do something this fine Saturday, I recommend checking out Dexter’s Wikipedia entry, where you’ll discover that he’s done quite a bit in his 51 years on Earth:

• Went to Pacifica High School, where he excelled in math (he found it “just as exciting as punk rock”) and graduated in 1984 as class valedictorian
• Went to University of Southern California, where he got his BS in biology, and MS and Ph.D. in molecular biology
• Founded the band Manic Subsidal in 1984 after he and a buddy failed to get into a Social Distortion concert; the band changed its name to The Offspring in 1985 and went on to release some of the most “nineties” albums of the nineties: Smash, Ixnay on the Hombre, and Americana
• Created his own brand of hot sauce, Gringo Bandito, which has earned some rave reviews
• Teamed up with Jello Biafra to form the F.S.U. Foundation, which raised funds through charity concerts
• Participated in the Los Angeles Marathon in support of the Innocence Project
• Is a licensed airline transport pilot and certified flight instructor; has made a solo trip around the world in 10 days

Congratulations, Doctor Holland! I salute you with a filet mignon on a flaming sword.

I’ll close with this photo of Dexter’s jet: