“Nobody with a good car needs to be justified!” (or: The 25th anniversary of Ministry’s “Jesus Built My Hotrod”)

I know I’m going to everyone who used to listen to this alt-rock classic or who went to my DJ nights at Crazy Go Nuts University’s Clark Hall Pub feel old, but I can’t let the 25th anniversary of Ministry’s Jesus Built My Hotrod pass without mention. Go ahead: crank up your volume, bang your head, and ding-a-ding-dang your dang-a-long-ling-long!

Here’s the full-length “Redline/Whiteline” version, which used to get the mosh pit (something no longer allowed in the present fun-depleted “Sunday school picnic for Celine Dion fans” version of the pub) going on the dance floor:


Classified ad of the day: “The guy who slept with my girlfriend left his melodica here”

Click the photo to see the ad.

The melodica is a wind instrument for keyboard players. It looks like a small piano keyboard with a plastic tube attached to one end, and as a reed instrument, has a sound similar to the harmonica or accordion. If you’ve never heard one before, here’s “Human Jukebox” playing Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody on the melodica:

A man who lives near Toronto’s Leslieville neighborhood has a melodica made by Hohner (who also make decent harmonicas and accordions), and the ad he placed on Kijiji is a little bit sad and a little bit funny:

Some asshole from NYC came to town, slept with my girlfriend and left the most annoying instrument known to man (and/or woman – it’s 2017) at my house. Don’t ask.

So I want it gone. Much like him, the instrument is useless. But here I am letting my personal bias taint the beauty of this air-blown-key-thing known as the Melodica.

It’s got a nice colour design, which I think is pretty sharp – as well as a strap for your hand to keep it steady while you play. Kind of like how that two-timing discounted pair of yoga pants played me.

I digress.

Come grab it for $100 or best offer.

Also I’ll throw in a MacBook charger, because I’m a good guy.

Here’s the Macbook charger:

Click the photo to see the ad.

The melodica he’s selling is a Hohner AIRBOARD37, and you can get it brand new from Amazon for US$99.99 with free shipping. Asking $100 Canadian for a used one is a bit much, but the deal becomes sweeter with the 85W MacBook Pro MagSafe 2 power adapter, which will set you back US$75 at the Apple Store. I assume that the guy who slept with his girlfriend also left it there.

As I write this, the ad has had over 13,500 views. If you’re in the Toronto area and want a melodica with a free MacBook power adapter (or, if you prefer to think it this was, a MacBook power adapter with a free melodica thrown in), contact this guy now!

(And to the seller: Better luck with the next girlfriend, dude. I’ve been there.)


The look on his face says: “THIS. IS. MY. MOMENT!”

…or, as Jamie Ross (Scotland reporter for Buzzfeed News) tweeted: “Heartfelt congratulations to this guy who must have waited a lifetime for vegetables to become news.”

To save you a step that I know you’re already contemplating: Yes, there is such as thing as the British Leafy Salads Association…

…and there seems to be some kind of fruit and vegetable shortage in the UK at the moment:


The Matthew McConaughey joke everyone will crack now that he says it’s time to embrace Trump

From CNN:

“Well, they don’t have a choice now, he’s our President,” McConaughey said. “It’s very dynamic and as divisive of an inauguration and time that we’ve ever had. At the same time, it’s time for us to embrace and shake hands with this fact and be constructive with him over the next four years.

I found this tweet amusing:


In honor of his retirement, here’s an “Alright, alright, alright” supercut: