How to talk to your cat about gun safety, evolution, and abstinence

If you have a young cat in the house, you’re probably wondering about those upcoming times when you and kitty will have “the talks”. Luckily for you, the American Association of Patriots has you covered with their handy pamphlets.

This timely guide answers such questions as:

• Do I need to talk to my cat about gun safety?
• Do cats really play with guns?
• So my cat finds a gun, what’s the big deal?
• Is it safe to own a gun if I have cats in my house?
• I’m responsible with my gun, why should I bother to teach my cat about gun safety?
• What age is right to start talking to my cat about gun safety?
• What are the risks of not talking to my cat about gun safety?

… and much more!

After a successful campaign for cat gun safety, the American Association of Patriots are back; this time working to dispel the myth of evolution.

As stated within this slim but vital pamphlet on the vital topic of How to Talk to Your Cat About Evolution: “It is your duty as a responsible cat owner to purrtect them from the barrage of misinformation they are assaulted with every day.” The more you know.

You’ve talked to your cat about gun safety and evolution, but you still need to have The Talk. Birds and bees aren’t just flying creatures your cat chases, your cat needs to know about the dangers of premarital sex, the importance of abstinence, the cat heaven that embraces those that abstain, and the kitty hell that awaits those that live in sin. You might have thought it was ok to talk to your cat about birth control and STDs but really waiting is the only way. Make sure your kitteh knows to keep its promise!

Thanks to Ryan Castellucci for the find!