Your mid-week laughs

They shouldn’t put monogrammed towels on their wedding registry

It seemed like a good idea at the time: the couple above got engaged at dinner at a teppanyaki restaurant and decided to get a photo to commemorate the big event. They probably thought “Hey, we’ll show this to the grandkids someday!”

Somebody got the idea to spell out their initials in rice on the big plancha stove with a big heart between them, but it never occurred to anyone to to confirm that those initials didn’t form any unfortunate words.

My thanks to Frédéric Harper, who pointed me to this photo, saying “I think of you when see stories like this.”

Hotels vs AirBnB

This one’s from The Onion:

Bay Area to Standard American English Translator

If you read one tech-related humor piece today, make it Bay Area to Standard American English Translator on McSweeney’s. Here’s a sample:

Bay Area:

“Who are you again?”
\ˈhü\ \ˈär\ \ˈyü\ \e-ˈgān\

English:

“What company do you work for?”

– –

Bay Area:

“Do you live in this neighborhood?”
\ˈdü\ \ˈyü\ \ˈliv\ \ən\ \ˈthis\ \ˈnā-bər-ˌhu̇d\

English:

“Can you afford to live in San Francisco?”

– –

Bay Area:

“We should get lunch.”
\ˈwē\ \ˈshu̇d\ \ˈget\ \ˈlənch\

English:

“I’ve identified your value relative to me and wish to start the process of exploiting your talents.”