Just Another Day in Australia [Updated, with “Clock Spider” Pics]

I have no idea why my friend John Bristowe decided to move to Australia; the place seems to be packed with nothing but Nature’s most deadly creatures:

Update

For the benefit of those people who didn’t get the “Clock Spider” reference (or who for some reason need nightmare fuel), here are the photos of this internet-famous spider. He’s a Huntsman spider that was found lurking behind a wall clock in Darwin, Australia:

Ooh! What’s that behind the clock?

AIEE!!! Clock spider! KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!