Here in Canada, “Kraft Dinner” is the brand under which Kraft Macaroni and Cheese is sold. Macaroni and cheese is one of those tastes of childhood, and being cheap and easy to prepare, “KD” is a staple of university student life. Back in university, a number of us enhanced the dish by adding all sorts of things: ketchup, mustard, hot dog slices, tuna and so on. I liked putting a couple of strips of bacon on mine, because there’s little that bacon can’t enhance.
The people at Kraft must have noticed these enhancements since they’ve release a series of microwaveable Kraft Dinner meals with different flavours such as Alfredo, “Extreme Pizza” and SPicy Szechuan. Being the kinesthetic sort when it comes to food, the Ginger Ninja and I decided to buy a couple of flavours and give them a taste.
The verdict: avoid at all costs. These Kraft Dinner variants aren’t junky-good in the way that original Kraft Dinner is. They just taste awful and have looks that match. Here’s what “Extreme Pizza” looks like:
“Extreme Pizza” is a very bad blend of that Velveeta-esque Kraft Dinner cheese with a low-grade tomato sauce reminiscent of the gunk they put on Chuck E. Cheese pizzas (I know that taste; I have young nephews).
Spicy Szechuan is even worse:
It tastes like an attempt to blend Kraft Dinner cheese with the flavours of soy sauce, Chinese five-spice and peppers. If the Long March had a taste, it would be this.
Note that they use different noodles for different flavours; it’s the one bit of culinary artistry that went into them. Different sauces call for different noodles – for example, you don’t serve capellini with a thick meat sauce – and each noodle in this series of Kraft Dinners seems chosen to convey the culinary horror perfectly.
If you must eat these, I would suggest Listerine as a pairing: Listerine Original for the Extreme Pizza, and Listerine Mint for the Spicy Szechuan.
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I find it weird that you needed to buy them in order to discover they were terrible. I wouldn't have expected anything but disappointment.
Did you know that Chuck E. Cheese was started by Nolan Bushnell?
Ick.
I actually tried the Alfredo a couple weeks back. Vomit in a cup.
I was always a Mr Noodles girl myself
Be happy you're in Canada, Joey, where you can go to Loblaws (or related chain) and get President's Choice White Cheddar Mac & Cheese for 79 cents.
Slice up some garlic and fry it with the butter you were going to add anyhow (or add ham or bacon), then grate in some old cheddar and/or parmesan, grind some pepper over top and maybe add some chipotle powder and you have something approximating a meal. Maybe not a nutritious meal, but a meal - and certainly tastier than Extreme Pizza Kraft Dinner.
If the Long March had a taste, it would be this.
This should be in a pullquote.
FitDarcie: Sometimes, something just beckons you to experience it, even though you know it's going to be crappy. Some movies are like that. I think I've even gone on a date like that once or twice.
Pete Forde: I'll forgive him for creating Chuck E. Cheese because he created Pong and the Atari of the 1970s and 1980s, before their great fall.
+1 to the Presidents Choice mac and cheese. The trick is to mix in curry powder to the cheese mix for a tasty treat.
Then again I haven't had that since University.. maybe theres a reason.