The “Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus” Trailer

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• Ha!. Everything old is new again. When I was a kid that octopus ripped up the Golden Gate Bridge (in black and white). Then it crawled up on the beach and went after blonde babes. Very cool. How about the sailor in the trailer whispering, "It rises!" Shades of Gregory Peck in Moby Dick.

• I can't help but feel this movie is sorely lacking in the Samuel L. Jackson department.

• Sharks can fly?

• I was so excited that someone finally made "sharks on a plane" that I obtained this dreck on its release date and watched it with a good dozen or so friends. I am a big fan of "so bad its good" horror movies, and I've got to warn you, this is not one of them.

  What I specifically look for in a so-bad-its-good movies is when the director has some vision and lets nothing stand in the way of delivering on that vision. Low budgets, bad sets, terrible actors, wooden dialogue, cheap effects, lousy film stock -- if a good director (and even more important, film editor) can get beyond all those things and deliver on their vision then the results can be quite something. I think of movies like the original Night Of The Living Dead, or Dario Argento's early movies, or Jeff Coombs over-the-top performances in Re-Animator and From Beyond, or Sam Raimi's Evil Dead movies. These movies "deliver the goods" -- they not only work with the limitations imposed on them, they transcend them.

  MSvGO could have been one of those. But its execution falls completely flat. It never truly embraces the ludicrousness of its premise, and the pacing is simply far, far too slow to sustain willing suspension of disbelief.

  My advice: enjoy the trailer, skip the movie, and then go watch Deep Blue Sea or Snakes On A Plane again.