Apparently, Accordion City’s Not Supposed to Arouse You

 Are you sure? Because we’ve got a giant phallic symbol in the middle of the city!

There’s a joke that used to make the rounds at my Catholic high school that went something like this:

A candidate for the priesthood had one final test to take before becoming a full initiate. He was seated in a chair in front of screen and an assistant some electrodes on his forehead.

“It’s pretty simple,” said the bishop administering the tests. “We’re going to show you some pictures, and if you’re sexually aroused by any of them, the electrodes will pick that up and a buzzer will sound.”

The test began. They showed him centerfolds from Playboy. No reaction.

The Penthouse centerfolds got shown. Still no reaction.

Finally, centerfolds from Hustler. Still no reaction.

“Very good!” the bishop said. “Why don’t you go into the next room and join the other priests?”

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT! went the buzzer.

There’s an article by David Topping at Torontoist that points to a BBC story about a rehab clinic for pedophiles that reminded me of the joke. The clinic has a test in which they show patients images and measure their arousal; the difference between the device in the story and the device in the joke is where they attach the probes.

In the clinic’s test, they show different kinds of images to the patients:

• Some are of the “You’re supposed to be aroused” type, namely consenting adults engaging in sex
• Some are of the “If you’re aroused by these, you’re a deviant” variety: violent sex, children eating fruit and running around in bathing suits.
• The rest are what the article describes as “non-suggestive images to establish a baseline of non-arousal”.

What’s funny is what those non-arousing baseline images are: “Photos of the Canadian city of Toronto.”