A Little Dab WON’T Do Ya

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• I think A looks better in the after pictures, though only because those sideburns are too bushy, otherwise they'd both be cute, though in totally different ways. I think both of B's pics are terrible. In the first he has no forehead and in the second he has what appears to be an attempt at an irish fro. C looks like a nerd in one and a prep in the other. I'd like the nerdy do better if it looked like it had been washed, oh, ever. D, as you noted, shows vast improvement before to after.

• A's sideburns are trying too hard, so I'm going to say he looks better after. B definitely looks better before. C looks ridiculous before, but like a child molester after, so I'm going to go with before. Agree on D.

• The muttonchops on the first guy REALLY don't work.

• I dunno, folks, I rather like A's sideburns.

• A, B and C are better as befores, although A loses points for that bit of greasy bang flopping over his forehead. It diminishes the Wainwright effect. But I like the Mark Antony on D's after much more than the Danny Partridge before.

  B is actually pretty damn hot in his before. Mmm, redheads!

• my grandfather stood at the top of the stairs and bellowed down to my grandmother who was doing laundry "I don't like the new toothpaste you bought! it isn't fresh at all!"

  Moral of this story? If you wear glasses, wear them when you brush your teeth.