“I’m Voting Republican”

There’s an amusing video over at ImVotingRepublican.com titled (natch) I’m Voting Republican. Click the image below to watch the video:

Among the reasons the people in the video are voting Republican in the 2008 U.S. Presidential Election are:

• “Because we don’t like shopping at small neighbourhood stores…and we just love cheap plastic crap from China.”
• “I don’t really want a cure for AIDS or breast cancer…they’re just gays and women.”
• “I think new drugs should be made available immediately, whether they’ve been tested properly or not. If the major pharmaceutical companies’ bottom lines are healthy, then I feel healthy too.”
• So my little Caitlyn can share a classroom with 30 other children.
• “Because women just can’t be trusted to make decisions about their own bodies. Never, ever, ever!”
• “Because I need to be told who I can love.”
• “I just need them to tell me how just I can show a lifetime commitment.”
• “Because corporations should not have to pay to clean up environmental damage.”
• “Because I don’t want to know if the food I’m eating has been genetically modified or exposed to radiation…if the label says ‘food’, that’s good enough for me!”
• “Because I really enjoy being screwed by the utility companies.”
• “We need more minorities in prison.”
• “I just don’t feel I deserve health insurance.”
• “Because Texas needs more billionaires.”
• “Because sometimes the Constitution is just one big inconvenient headache.”
• “I think the world should be run by one big corporation. It think it’d be so much cosier!”
• “Because all other countries are inferior to us! And we should start as many wars as we need to keep it that way.”
• “[Soldier] So I can stay in Iraq.”
• “[Kid with toy gun] So I can go to Iran!”

Be advised that there’s a good chance that the Democrats will deliver a diluted version of these items, but I’m a “pick the lesser of two evils” kind of guy, anyway.

I expect there’ll be comments for this one, so fire away!