Cross-Cultural Observation of the Day

This is the number one Google Image Search result for “bris”.

I’ve just come from the bris of Gabriel David Maxwell Stevenson, Deenster’s and Chris’ son. I would have to say that there are two major differences between a bris and a baptism:

• Less screaming from the baby. I was expecting more! My guess is that thanks to the modern miracle of local freezing anaesthetic, the incision’s less of a shock than having cold water poured over your head.
• More wincing from the attendees. There wasn’t a guy in the room who didn’t wince a little, and I could’ve sworn I saw a few castration revenge-fantasy smirks on the faces of the womenfolk in attendance. But maybe that’s just because of Freudian peni– er, I mean fixation.

The ceremony was lovely, and the Ginger Ninja and I would like to thank Deenster and Chris for allowing us to be part of the mitzvah. Mazel tov!

So now I’m at work in a vest and tie, and people are wondering if I’m interviewing for another job. I’ve explained that if I did dress up for this morning’s ceremony, my mother would’ve sensed that I entered a house of worship improperly dressed and would’ve used her mental powers to smite me from a distance. Besides, it’s nice to dress up once in a while.

Congratulations, baby Gabriel!

Related Reading

Judaism 101’s “Birth and the First Month of Life”.

The script for the Seinfeld episode “The Bris”. Do not watch this episode before a bris.

The Suit Rant. An article I wrote back in August 2002: “This is going to sound superficial, old-fashioned and judgemental, but I’m going to say it anyway: Gentlemen, you need to own at least one suit in order to be a grown-up.”