Supertelevangelistic Sex-and-Drugs Psychosis

If you remember Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious from the Mary Poppins movie and if you’ve heard of the Pastor Ted scandal, you’ll love Supertelevangelistic Sex-and-Drugs Psychosis!

The song is performed by Spaff, and you can download it here [1.8 MB].

Here are the lyrics — feel free to sing along!

I used to be a master of the anti-gay crusade

Until a butch disaster blew my pastor masquerade

But if it’s true I’m pounding more than pulpits, don’t blame me

It’s ’cause I caught my hooker-tweaker-stud’s infirmity

It’s

Supertelevangelistic sex-and-drugs psychosis

Worse than plague and bird flu crossed with osteoporosis

We were playing doctor and he gave this diagnosis:

Supertelevangelistic sex-and-drugs psychosis

Umm Haggard Bakker Swaggart umm Tammy Faye

Umm Haggard Bakker Swaggart umm Tammy Faye

I found the perfect therapist – the kind that gives massage

I like to drive my Escort and I park in his garage

I swear he only serves me crank when all his Coke is gone

And then he helps me straighten out my Peter, James, and John

Blame

Supertelevangelistic sex-and-drugs psychosis

That’s my greatest guilty pleasure next to Guns N’ Roses

Good thing there’s no ban on it in all the books of Moses

Supertelevangelistic sex-and-drugs psychosis

Umm Haggard Bakker Swaggart umm Tammy Faye

Umm Haggard Bakker Swaggart umm Tammy Faye

It seems all pious public figures bugger on the sly

But Jesus loved republicans and sinners; so must I

Say “Holy moley, Mister Foley! That boy’s underage!”

But I believe the congressman has turned another page

Oh!

Supertelevangelistic sex-and-drugs psychosis

Next time, better cut me off at handshakes and Mimosas

No more meth or men for me – at least in overdoses!

Supertelevangelistic sex-and-drugs psychosis!

(Just a spoonful of crystal helps the prostitute go down…)

Thanks to Making Light for the link.