Funniest "Gay Cure" Ever

Although the methodology for various purported cures for “the gay” varies, the result they promise is the same: that you’ll go from this…

…to this:

Here’s a video of a CNN report featuring a gay cure [2.3MB QuickTime] promoted by one Richard Cohen, M.A.. The fact that those two letters constantly appear after his name on his books should be your first warning. In my experience, people who insist on adding their degree letters after their names — especially if that degree is a master of arts — are more often than not low-watt bulbs who either know how to work the systems of academia or went to sub-par universities.

Your second warning should be that the exercises he demonstrates are so pathetic that even emo kids will find them laughable. Pictured below is some hug therapy, meant to promote some non-sexual father-son style love that Cohen says is missing from gay men’s lives:

“After the hug session, we’re going to start an emo band called “Falling Down Stairs”. Click the picture to see the video.

We don’t move into truly hilarious territory until Cohen demonstrates “bio-energetics” therapy. The name alone should set off your bullshit detector, as should the fakety-fake pseudo-scientific rationale behind it: “to release memory stored in the muscles”. Cohen demonstrates it by taking a tennis racket and smacking a pillow repeatedly, screaming: “Mom! Mom! MOOOOOOOM! Why! Did you! Do that! To me!”.

Although it’s probably been about two decades since he moved out, Mommy remains the root of all his problems. Click the picture to see the video.

I have no idea how Paula Zahn kept a straight face through the interview. If it were me, I’d have taken the racket and started smacking Cohen: “Richard! Richard! RICHAAAARD! You! Are! Too stupid! To! Live!”