Accordion, Instrument of the Gods

“Picking Up Girls Made Easy,” Chapter 7: “The Walking the Dog Pick Up”

“Nothing succeeds in this world like imagination,” says Eric Weber, narrator of the audiobook Picking Up Girls Made Easy.
“Think about it! Einstein had imagination. Casanova had imagination.
And Romeo had a great imagination. Didn’t he score Juliet, one of the
greatest pick-ups of all time?”

(A couple of notes: 1. For my British friends: what we call “picking
up”, you’d call “pulling”.  2. I’d hardly view a pick-up that lead
directly to my death as “great”.)

That’s how the audiobook chapter The Walking the Dog Pick Up
[4 MB MP3] begins. The narrator’s dated slang and “Eddie Haskell’s all
grown up
” voice, the cheesy voice acting and the advice that sounds as
if it’s coming from Larry Dallas (Jack Tripper’s swinging single friend from
Three’s Company) make this an unintentionally hilarious gem.

“There’s no doubt about it: you’ve got to use your imagination,” says
the narrator at the close. “If you’ve haven’t got a dog, try an antique
car.  If you can’t afford that, try an antique bicycle. And if
that’s too fancy, try antique roller skates. Remember, it’s not what
gimmick you use, but how you use it, and how you use your imagination.
Good luck!”

He probably would’ve approved of the accordion.

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