When I did a little accordion stand-up comedy as a warm-up act for the Slap and Tickle comedy troupe, I mentioned the existence of a web site that covered the topic of having sex with dolphins. (No sex pictures, but really not safe for work, and you may never sleep as well after reading it, knowing that there are people who enjoy this sort of thing. You have been warned.)
I mentioned that one line really got me:
WARNING! In the considerations of safety, you should NEVER let a male dolphin attempt anal sex with you.
I mean, really, do people need to be told this?
Here’s something a little more recent that elcited the same reaction from me: Barbara Amiel’s article, titled No matter how you cut it up, eating people is simply wrong.
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/AvuwH_KyiKY Maybe it’s just me, or perhaps it’s the song itself, but I find that…
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Advice in old-timey books was just plain weird, man.
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To be honest, do they really think people willing to have sex with dolphins are all that safety conscious to begin with? I mean, really.
Not very at all, especially considering that:
"The Bottle-nose dolphin member is around 12 inches, very muscular, and the thrusting and the force of ejaculation (A male can come as far as 14 feet) would cause serious internal injuries, resulting in peritonitus and possible death."
Very scary site (in fact, I tend to use it to scare non-net-geeks with...)
Malach
See, 12 inches, while unusual, might be OK. That whole 14 feet business... Count me out.
I found that information a long time ago, and I'm still scarred. The only way I've survived my trauma is to randomly share bits of information with other people - if I share the heebie-jeebies, they're not so bad.