The best "Matrix: Reloaded" review ever

A LiveJourno named hipstomp has a pretty funny review of The Matrix: Reloaded, which includes this observation about Morpheus:

Morpheus got fat. Holy hell did he put some poundage on. I’m thinking Morpheus ate the red pill, and it was so good he decided to wash it down with another 5,000. Either that or they opened a Burger King in Zion right by his place.

Word up Morpheus needs to get off the Nebuchadnezzer and onto a fucking stairmaster. That scene where he’s fighting the Twins, I kept expecting jelly donuts to fall out of his pockets. Like every time he hits the ground there’s a squishhh noise and all this jelly squirts out. Getting punched with powdered sugar on his face. By the end of the movie I thought he was going to eat one of the Sentinels.

Fishburne ain’t gonna like this, and he’s been getting pretty huffy with Matrix critics already.

[Thanks to Tyler “praytothemachine” Weir for the pointer.]